Wubba Lubba Dub-Debt! Moody's Downgrades US Credit Rating (And Nobody Cares... Kinda)

Yields Schmields: Numbers Are Just…Numbers Morty

Alright Morty listen up. These Treasury yields – the 30 year jumped 12 basis points to 5.012% the 10 year climbed 10 basis points to 4.54% and the 2 year inched up 4 basis points to 4.023%. Big whoop! It's just a bunch of squiggly lines on a chart Morty. Doesn't mean squanch unless someone tells you it does. Like who decided these numbers even matter? Oh right. The Man. Well I am not the Man I am a free thinking scientist with a portal gun and a flask. And I'm telling you Morty don't sweat the small stuff. Or the big stuff. Just don't sweat it okay?

Moody's Blues: From Aaa to Aa1. So What?

So Moody's the last of the bigwigs finally downgraded the US credit rating from Aaa to Aa1. They're blaming it on the government's endless debt and the high cost of borrowing. Groundbreaking Morty! It's like discovering that water is wet or that Jerry is… well Jerry. 'Oh the government is spending too much money!' No *doy* Sherlock. It's the government Morty. They spend money like I spend interdimensional cable credits on Szechuan sauce. And by the way can anyone hook me up with the recipe for that sauce? I'm willing to trade schematics for a portal gun that shoots squirrels.

Tariffs Taxes and Tears: Oh My!

Remember when President (burp) Trump slapped tariffs on everyone? The Treasury yields went haywire then too Morty. The 10 year yield moved above 4.5% and the 30 year rate hit 5% remember that Morty? They quickly abandoned those policies. Now long term Treasury yields are back at those levels. It's all a big dumb cycle Morty. Politicians make promises the economy burps and the average schmo gets the shaft. Classic economic theory. Now where's my flask?

House Republicans: Adding Fuel to the Fiscal Fire

And now Morty get this! Those House Republicans are pushing ahead with a tax and spending bill that's going to add *trillions* to the budget deficit. Trillions Morty! That's like… well it's a lot. Even for me. Moody's warned about this lack of fiscal restraint but do they listen? Of course not! They're politicians Morty. Their ears are filled with the screams of lobbyists and the echoes of empty promises.

Safe Haven? More Like Safe… Eventually

Are Treasurys still a safe haven? Hah! 'Safe' is a relative term Morty. Nothing is truly safe in this universe especially not financial instruments. But hey at least it's not as risky as investing in Blips and Chitz. That's the wayyy the news goes!

Blah Blah Blah... Experts Talking

So we got experts yapping about this and that. Atlanta Fed President Raphael Bostic New York Fed President John Williams and Dallas Fed President Lorie Logan are all going to yap some more. Look at them Morty these economists make me feel so under accomplished. And I am the smartest man in the universe! But look Morty don't listen to any of this. Just watch some interdimensional cable. Much more productive. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!