Giggity Giggity Zero Tariffs?!
Alright so this Navarro guy right? He's like 'Vietnam offered zero tariffs!' and I'm thinking 'Hot diggity daffodil! Free stuff!' But then he's all 'Nah it's a trap!' Like when Quagmire offers you a beer you know there's gonna be a catch. Turns out they're apparently cheating in other ways like sneaking Chinese stuff through Vietnam. It's like when Chris tries to sneak cookies before dinner only on a global scale!
Intellectual Property Theft? More Like Intellectual Property 'Borrowing'!
And get this they're also stealing our intellectual property! Intellectual property that's a fancy way of saying 'stuff we thought up first!' It's like when Stewie tries to steal Brian's novel idea only with you know actual consequences for the global economy. Seriously where do they get off? It's almost as bad as when Lois steals my cutaways!
Value Added What Now?
Now they're talking about this value added tax or VAT. Apparently it's like a sales tax but fancier. Navarro says it's a trade barrier but everyone else is like 'Meh.' It's like when Brian tries to explain politics to me – I just nod and smile and think about beer. But hey maybe I should start charging a 'value added tax' for my cutaways! I'd be richer than Carter Pewterschmidt in no time!
Trump's Tariffs: Uh Oh Spaghetti O's!
So Trump slaps on these big tariffs and the stock market goes nuts! Everyone's panicking like they just saw the Kool Aid Man burst through a wall at a funeral. Apparently Vietnam is a big manufacturing hub especially for clothes. So now your Nikes are gonna cost more. Great. As if I needed another reason to stay in my sweatpants.
The ETF Took a Dive! Whaaaaaat?!
This Vietnam ETF thingy it tanked after the tariff announcement. It fell harder than I do when I trip over a rogue Lego in the middle of the night! Investors are watching closely to see if anyone can get these tariffs lowered because right now it's a real 'freakin' sweet' situation for them... NOT!
Navarro's Final Word... or So He Thinks!
Navarro eventually conceded that zero tariffs would be a "small first start". A small first start! That's like saying Lois only nagging me 10 times a day is a 'small first start' to a peaceful life. The guy is tougher than that time I fought the giant chicken. But seriously can't we all just get along? Maybe we should just settle this with a good old fashioned game of spin the bottle. I call Lois!
Peter Navarro Donald Trump Vietnam tariffs trade intellectual property CNBC stock market VanEck Vietnam ETF VAT
Comments
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tigerlobo
I'm telling you, the Kool-Aid Man is behind all of this!
bludger1
I'd like to see Peter Griffin explain this to the World Trade Organization!
Bayo4real
Hey Lois! Look at this article about tariffs, Hehehehehe!
thedazman
Another fine mess Trump has gotten us into!
roguelilly
This is worse than the time I tried to negotiate my allowance with Lois!
dwhaynes1
Giggity! That Navarro sounds like a real piece of work.
Phiafresh
This is why I only invest in Duff Beer.
Singtress
Alright, who's up for a round of Pictionary to figure this out?
theanine
What the deuce is an ETF anyway?
wallysmom
This article makes more sense than Brian's political rants.