Giggity Giggity Goo! Fancy Food Show Goes Wild with Swicy Tallow and Mustards That'll Make You Say 'Freakin' Sweet'!

Holy Crap It's the Fancy Food Show!

Alright alright settle down you bunch of Stewies! Peter Griffin here live from the Summer Fancy Food Show. It's like a buffet but instead of Lois yelling at me for eating all the shrimp they WANT me to try everything! Apparently some fancy pants chefs decided that regular ketchup and mustard weren't cutting it. And you know what that means? It's time for Peter to get his grub on! Giggity.

Olive You Olive Oil!

So these guys are going nuts with olive oil. I'm talking harissa flavored olive oil sherry cask finished olive oil... I even saw someone trying to drizzle it on ice cream. Ice cream people! What is this some kind of Bizarro World Quahog? But hey if it means I get to dip my fries in it I'm in! You know what they say 'Everything's better with olive oil'... or was that butter? Eh same difference!

Mustard Gas... I Mean Mustard Class!

Mustard eh? Normally I just smear that yellow stuff on my hot dogs but these food snobs are trying to make it 'caviar of mustards'. Caviar! I bet Mort Goldman is behind this. They're fermenting smoking brining... sounds like what happens in my basement after a few too many Pawtucket Patriot Ales. But hey if it means I can finally ditch that boring yellow stuff I'm game!

Plant Based? More Like Plant Bland!

Remember when everyone was shoving fake meat down our throats? Turns out people got tired of it faster than Chris eating a plate of chicken wings. Now they're trying to sneak it in like 'Oh this cashew cheese just HAPPENS to be plant based.' Nice try hippies! I know a fake when I see one. It's like when Brian tries to convince me he's not secretly judging my life choices. Not buying it!

Chef Led? More Like Chef Bored!

Apparently these chefs got bored sitting in their fancy restaurants and decided to bottle up their sauces. Now you can have restaurant quality whatever at home! It's like having Quagmire in your kitchen... hopefully without the Giggity Giggity Goo part. I'm just waiting for Joe Swanson to come out with his own brand of wheelchairs now THAT is something I can use!

Swicy? More Like Sw Why?

Oh here we go. Swicy! Sweet and spicy the new big thing. I guess regular spicy wasn't giving people enough heartburn. Mike's Hot Honey is teaming up with Heluva Good for a swicy dip. Next thing you know they'll be putting it in beer! Wait a minute... that doesn't sound half bad! And beef tallow? People are slathering fat everywhere might as well fry everything and anything. Shut up Meg!