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Turns out, the world's doing just fine shrugging off Trump's tariff tantrums, with Europe and South Korea leading the way while Thailand and Turkey are, well, having a bad time. Giggity! image

Giggity! Global Stocks Soar While Trump's Tariffs Flop Like Meg at a Dance

Wed 09 July, 2025 00:04
3 minutes to read

Macron's visit to the UK is overshadowed by Trump's trade threats, potentially impacting global economies like that time I tried to run a daycare and everything went to pot. image

Giggity! Macron's Royal Rendezvous and Trump's Tariff Tantrums!

Tue 08 July, 2025 11:38
3 minutes to read

Lithuania's central bank is giving Robinhood the stink eye over those shady OpenAI stock tokens after OpenAI itself screamed, 'Not cool!' image

Holy Crap! Lithuania Yells at Robinhood Over Fake OpenAI Bucks!

Mon 07 July, 2025 15:37
3 minutes to read

Peter Griffin reports on the latest tariff threat from the Trump administration, because apparently, I'm qualified now. image

Tariffs? Oh, Boy! Trump's Trade Tantrum Returns August 1st!

Sun 06 July, 2025 16:16
2 minutes to read

Peter Griffin reports live from the Summer Fancy Food Show where condiments get a makeover, plant-based pretends to be cool, and 'swicy' reigns supreme. Oh, and beef tallow is apparently making a comeback because... reasons. image

Giggity Giggity Goo! Fancy Food Show Goes Wild with Swicy Tallow and Mustards That'll Make You Say 'Freakin' Sweet'!

Fri 04 July, 2025 12:00
2 minutes to read

Peter Griffin reports on how Starboard Value's massive investment in Tripadvisor sent stock prices soaring, potentially leading to big changes at the travel company. Giggity! image

Holy Crap! Starboard Value Buys Up Tripadvisor Like I Buy Pawtucket Patriot Beer!

Thu 03 July, 2025 14:27
3 minutes to read

Clear, the airport security line skipper, aims to expand its biometric verification services beyond travel, tackling document security, job application fraud, and even Uber rides. Oh, and they mentioned deepfakes, which reminds me of that one time... image

Giggity! Clear Security Wants to Be Everywhere, Like My Need for More Chicken Fights!

Wed 02 July, 2025 20:19
3 minutes to read

Constellation Brands feels the pinch as Trump's aluminum tariffs and softer consumer demand put a damper on beer profits, leaving Peter Griffin wondering if he can still afford his precious Pawtucket Patriot Ale. image

Giggity Giggity Gloom! Tariffs Tank Corona's Bottom Line... And My Happy Hour!

Tue 01 July, 2025 20:53
2 minutes to read

Peter Griffin reports on Ford's surprising sales surge, fueled by trucks and slightly-less-electric vehicles, while pondering if this means he can finally afford that solid gold toilet. image

Holy Crap Lois! Ford is Selling Trucks Like Hotcakes!

Tue 01 July, 2025 15:47
3 minutes to read

Joby Aviation is bringing their electric air taxis to the UAE, and their stock is soaring faster than I can eat a bucket of chicken wings! image

Holy Crap Lois! Flying Taxis are Coming to Dubai! Road House!

Mon 30 June, 2025 21:29
3 minutes to read