Holy Crap Lois! Russia Sends Drones, Kyiv Gets the Kablooey Treatment!

Another Fine Mess Eh?

Alright so apparently Russia decided to give Kyiv a real bad time last night. We're talking drones missiles the whole shebang! It's like they're trying to win some kinda 'Most Explosions in One Night' award. I mean I get it sometimes you just wanna blow stuff up like that time I tried to deep fry a turkey... Lois wasn't happy. Fifteen people got hurt and Zelenskyy that fella who always looks like he needs a good nap is blaming Russia. You know classic stuff.

Kaboom Baby!

So these drones they were buzzing around Kyiv like flies at a picnic and BOOM! Explosions everywhere! Reuters folks saw it all probably spilled their coffee. The city was lit up like it was the Fourth of July except instead of celebrating freedom people were probably hiding in their basements. And get this some poor lady named Halyna had her apartment windows smashed. She's yelling at Trump about it. I mean I get it everyone yells at Trump eventually. Remember that time I yelled at him because he wouldn't give me free chicken wings? Good times.

Trump's Take Can't We All Just Get Along?

Now Trump bless his heart is all about getting Russia and Ukraine to sit down and have a chat. Maybe share a pizza talk it out? But Europe wants to slap Russia with more sanctions which is like grounding a teenager who already wrecked the car. I dunno sounds complicated. Maybe we should just give everyone a beer and see what happens? Works for me most of the time!

Tit for Tat Drone Warfare

Apparently Ukraine's been sending their own drones to Russia like some kinda aerial ping pong match. Russia didn't like that so they sent back a whole bunch of explody presents to Kyiv. It's like when Stewie and Brian start fighting – it always ends with someone getting hurt and usually ends with Stewie building some sort of doomsday device.

Peace Talks? Don't Hold Your Breath

There was some kinda prisoner exchange thingy which Trump thinks might lead to peace talks. But then Russia goes and sends a bunch of missiles so... yeah. Zelenskyy's saying Russia is the one messing everything up. It's like trying to get Meg to understand a joke – impossible! Honestly this whole situation makes my head hurt more than trying to figure out what exactly Chris does all day.

Russia's Demands: Land and No Mean Westerners

Russia's saying they want peace but only if Ukraine gives them some land and promises not to hang out with the cool kids from the West. Sounds like my demands for Lois after I spent all our money on a giant inflatable dinosaur. She wasn't thrilled. Anyway Russia claims to have captured some villages too but who knows what's really going on? All I know is I need a beer and a chicken pot pie.