Giggity Giggity Ceasefire?
Alright alright alright! So Putin that rascal decides to announce a temporary Easter ceasefire in Ukraine. Humanitarian reasons they say! Like when I told Lois I needed a new TV 'for humanitarian reasons' to watch the football games of course! Anyway this whole thing is supposed to kick off Saturday and run through Easter Sunday. But get this Zelenskyy's like 'Yeah right Putin. Prove it!' If Russia's serious Ukraine will mirror the ceasefire. But if it's just a 30 hour stunt? Well that's just enough time for headlines not real trust am I right Quagmire? Giggity!
Prisoner Swap: Freakin' Sweet!
In other news they did a massive prisoner exchange! Like the biggest one since this whole shebang started. Russia got back 246 of their dudes and Ukraine got 277 warriors home. That's a lot of people finally getting a decent meal that doesn't involve mystery meat. I'm talking real food maybe even some of those tasty clams from the Drunken Clam! Kudos to the United Arab Emirates for playing mediator. I’d like to mediate some beers into my stomach right now!
30 Hours? That's Shorter Than My Attention Span!
Ukraine is all like 'Hey we offered a 30 day ceasefire back in March and you Russia said no!' Now it's just 30 hours? That's shorter than it takes me to explain why I need to buy a new gadget. And their Foreign Minister Andrii Sybiha basically called Putin a liar on Twitter. Ouch! This is getting spicier than Joe's hot sauce!
Trump Weighs In Because Of Course He Does
And you know who had to put his two cents in? Donald Trump! Says the negotiations are 'coming to a head' and that nobody's 'playing' him. Yeah okay Trump. Sure. Reminds me of the time I thought I was a genius for inventing the 'Petercopter.' Spoiler alert: it crashed. Hard.
Fighting Words and Drone Shenanigans
Even with this ceasefire talk both sides are still claiming they're winning. Russia says they've pushed Ukraine out of some territory in the Kursk region but Zelenskyy says his guys are still holding their positions. Meanwhile there's drone warfare happening! 87 drones 33 intercepted 36 jammed. That's more action than an episode of 'Space Cadet'!
Moms and Missing Sons
This part hit me in the feels Lois! There was this mom Nataliia Lohvynchuk waiting for her son who'd been captured in Mariupol. She hadn't seen him in three years! He'd lost 88 pounds! She pleaded for the world to help bring all the boys home. Seriously that's rough. Makes me want to hug Stewie. Okay maybe not but you get the idea. Family is everything!
Comments
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ihsan_idolz
Can someone explain this to me like I'm five? Or maybe like I'm Peter Griffin?
Mina130
This whole thing is crazier than the time I fought the giant chicken!
duchess48
I hope they're serving good snacks during these negotiations.
hairbandchick72
I just hope everyone is okay!
activesystem
I bet Cleveland is watching this on his brand new flatscreen!
dharokowns
This reminds me of the time I tried to negotiate a lower price on a used car...
candicea33
Giggity! Ceasefire or cease-fire...either way, I'm ready for a beer!
senjanicolai
So, like, is this gonna affect gas prices? I need to fill up the Family Truckster!
rajpenmatsa
Hey, at least they're not fighting over jelly beans this Easter!
peaseniz
Someone get me a Quahog tap water, stat!