Holy Crap Lois! Britain Just Put Israel in Timeout!

Uh Oh Spaghetti O's!

Alright so listen up you know how sometimes you do something so incredibly stupid that even Lois gives you that 'Peter you've gone too far' look? Well apparently Israel's been doing a lot of that lately. Britain led by some guy named Keir Starmer – sounds like a character from a bad sci fi movie am I right? – is putting the kibosh on free trade talks because they're not happy with what's going on in Gaza. Apparently blocking medical supplies and food ain't cool even if it means you get to keep all the falafel for yourself. And believe me I know my way around the falafel.

Sanctions? More Like Sand ctions!

And get this they're not just stopping the trade talks. Oh no they're slapping sanctions on West Bank settlers! Sanctions Lois! That's like when I tried to sanction Chris from eating all the chicken pot pies. Didn't work but hey at least I tried. Apparently these settlers have been causing some trouble and Britain's saying 'Hey! Knock it off or no more crumpets for you!'... Or whatever it is they eat over there.

David Lammy Sounds Like a Character From Star Wars

Some fancy pants Foreign Minister David Lammy said something about how this offensive ain't gonna bring the hostages home and that Israel needs to stop blocking aid. He even used the word 'extremism'! Which reminds me of that time I tried to start a bowling team called 'Peter's Extremists.' It didn't go well. Turns out being extreme and bowling don't mix... unless you're the Big Lebowski. Giggity.

Freeze! Humanitarian Aid Open Up!

So Britain France and Canada – sounds like the start of a bad joke – are all saying 'Hey Israel chill out with the military stuff and let the aid through!' They even threatened 'further concrete actions.' I wonder if that means they're gonna send in the Mounties? Or maybe a giant baguette? I'd pay to see that!

War of Civilization Over What Now?

And then you got Netanyahu who's saying this is a 'war of civilization over barbarism.' Sounds intense right? It's like that time I declared war on the giant chicken... over a coupon for free wings. Good times good times. But seriously folks 53,000 people dead? That's a lot of people. It's like if everyone in Quahog suddenly disappeared... except for Mort Goldman. Nobody wants that.

What The Deuce Does This All Mean?

So what does all this mean? Well it means Britain's not happy Israel's not happy and probably nobody's happy except maybe Mort Goldman because misery loves company. But hey maybe this will all blow over and we can all go back to arguing about whether 'Family Guy' is still funny. You know the important stuff. Giggity giggity goo!