Holy Crap! Exports Are Down!
Alright so picture this: I'm trying to explain economics to Meg. It's like trying to teach Brian to enjoy vacuuming – impossible! But here's the deal: Japan's exports are doing worse than my chances of winning a staring contest with a mannequin. They only grew by 2% which is apparently terrible news according to those nerds at Reuters. It's slower than Joe trying to chase after a donut truck!
25%? That's Worse Than Lois's Cooking!
So apparently this Donald Trump guy remember when he was on the Simpsons? Anyway he slapped some HUGE tariffs on Japan. Like a 25% tariff on cars! 25%! You know what else is 25%? The chance of me actually doing chores when Lois asks. And they put tariffs on steel and aluminum too! I bet even Cleveland knows that's bad for business!
Cars Cars Cars! My Precious!
Okay so cars are a big deal for Japan. Like REALLY big. Apparently 28.3% of everything they ship to the US is cars! That's more than my percentage of beer consumed on any given Tuesday. With these tariffs it's like telling me I can't have a beer and believe me that ain't good!
GDP? More Like 'Gee Darn it Peter!'
Their GDP... which I think stands for 'Gross Domestic... Potatoes?'... anyway it shrunk! Down 0.7%! Which means things are going downhill faster than I do after six Pawtucket Patriot Ales and a dare from Quagmire. Giggity!
Trump's Got 'Em Doing the Stanky Leg!
Basically Trump's tariffs are making Japan's economy dance like I do when I think no one's watching. It's a jig a shuffle and a whole lot of awkwardness. It's not pretty folks not pretty at all! It’s like when I tried to do that TikTok dance… remember that Lois?
Breaking News! (Just Like My Coffee Table Yesterday)
This is breaking news folks! Just like that coffee table I broke trying to reenact a scene from 'Star Wars'. Lois was not happy. So keep your eyes peeled because who knows what's going to happen next? Maybe I'll actually start understanding economics. Nah probably not. Giggity giggity goo!
Comments
From Peter Griffin
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hinee
I blame the millennials.
blondygirl1
This is worse than the time I tried to sell Amway!
tjs1123
Who else is hungry?
quamism
Giggity!
DrunkX
Can we get back to talking about chicken, please?
LordNubus
That's almost as bad as when I tried to become a weatherman.