Release the Hounds! Trump Unleashes Fury on Iran, Breaks Promises Faster Than Smithers Breaks a Leg

A Peacemaker? Bah Humbug!

Good heavens! The audacity! Five months ago that orange buffoon Trump declared himself a peacemaker. A unifier! Sounds like socialist gobbledegook to me. Now I read he's gone and bombed Iran – three nuclear sites no less. Fordo Natanz and Isfahan...names that will soon be as familiar as Springfield's unemployment line.

Promises Promises: Easier Broken Than Smithers' Resolve!

Trump's inauguration speech all that balderdash about ending wars and avoiding conflict? Poppycock! He claimed his legacy would be one of peace. Well he's about as peaceful as a rabid badger in a henhouse. Remember when he said he'd 'prevent World War Three?' He's about as competent as Homer Simpson running a nuclear power plant! Oh wait...

Bombs Away! Another Fine Mess Eh Smithers?

The U.S. launched a direct military strike – a full load of BOMBS as Trump so eloquently put it on that Truth Social contraption. Casualties infrastructure damage...all quite messy really. Makes me yearn for the simpler days of worker exploitation.

Flip Flops Flapping Faster Than My Moth Eaten Cape!

This is a stark departure from Trump's pledges to avoid war and end 'chaos in the Middle East.' Ironic isn't it? Like promising Burns Slant Drilling would be safe for Springfield's children. You know that lead to Blinky the three eyed fish.

Nuclear Nonsense and Empty Threats

Trump's been ranting about Iran's nuclear ambitions for ages. Fine but coupling that with vows of peace? It's like saying I'll be benevolent while simultaneously foreclosing on the orphanage! He even bragged about withdrawing from that Iran nuclear deal as if that was some sort of achievement. Perhaps it was if the goal was to create more chaos.

What Comes Next? Probably More Bad News for Us All!

So now U.S. bombs are raining down on Iran. Trump's promises lie shattered like Smithers' spine after one of my 'invigorating' workplace exercises. Questions are mounting about what happens next. Will this lead to more conflict? Probably. Will I profit from it somehow? You can bet your bottom dollar...or perhaps several million of them.