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After a dismal May, the Health Care Select Sector SPDR Fund (XLV) is showing signs of a potential rebound, driven by key support levels and oversold conditions in its top holdings, according to Mr. Burns. image

Excellent! Health Care Stocks Primed for a Comeback, Says Montgomery Burns

Wed 04 June, 2025 18:27
3 minutes to read

That Roark Capital, they acquired a majority stake in Dave's Hot Chicken, valuing the fiery poultry chain at nearly a billion dollars. It's all rather exciting, isn't it? image

Excellent! Roark Capital Sinks Claws Into Dave's Hot Chicken Empire!

Mon 02 June, 2025 18:14
2 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns, your friendly neighborhood billionaire, navigates the treacherous waters of cruise insurance to ensure your fortune remains intact, even when vacationing with the commoners. image

Excellent! Burns' Guide to Cruise Insurance: Don't Let the Sea Steal Your Millions!

Sun 01 June, 2025 04:15
3 minutes to read

Burns Industries applauds Meta and Anduril's collaboration on VR/AR tech for the U.S. Army, marking a triumphant return for Palmer Luckey and potentially boosting profits for all! image

Excellent! Meta and Anduril Join Forces to Usher in a New Era of... Military Efficiency!

Thu 29 May, 2025 17:34
3 minutes to read

That DeepSeek company out of China quietly upgraded their AI model, causing quite the kerfuffle for us Yanks. Seems those pesky embargoes aren't working, Smithers! image

Excellent! DeepSeek's AI Upgrade: A Ding-Dong Diddly Disaster for American Tech?

Thu 29 May, 2025 07:10
2 minutes to read

A frail but fiendishly clever look at market movements, Boston Scientific's blunder, Wells Fargo's waffling, and Nvidia's numbers – all approved by C. Montgomery Burns himself! image

Excellent! Burns's Brilliant Breakdown of Today's Business Bungles!

Wed 28 May, 2025 18:41
2 minutes to read

Mr. Burns dissects Dick's Sporting Goods' steady financial forecast amidst a major acquisition, revealing his unique perspective on corporate strategies and potential worker exploitation. image

Excellent! Dick's Sporting Goods Forecasts Profits That Won't Leave Me Crying 'Release My Hounds'

Wed 28 May, 2025 12:25
2 minutes to read

Mr. Burns dissects the treacherous world of bond yields, currency valuations, and potential economic doom, offering insights only a man of his caliber can provide. image

Excellent! Bond Yields and Global Domination: A Burnsian Perspective

Tue 27 May, 2025 19:21
3 minutes to read

Samantha Mui ditches corporate drudgery to teach dumpling-making, earning a Scrooge McDuck-worthy $10,000 an hour. A truly excellent scheme... perhaps even better than my plan to block out the sun! image

Excellent! Dumpling Queen Rakes in More Dough Than Burns' Nuclear Plant (Almost)

Tue 27 May, 2025 04:27
2 minutes to read

Presidential frontrunner Lee Jae-myung questions the deadline for US trade deal, sparking economic debate and North Korea policy concerns. Smithers, prepare my fainting couch! image

Excellent! South Korea's Presidential Hopeful Challenges Trump Tariffs... Or Does He Simply Lack Gumption?

Sun 25 May, 2025 11:03
2 minutes to read