Excellent! Trump Uncorks Steel Deal, Biden Gets the Boot!

Release the Hounds! Trump's Steel Victory

Bah humbug to Joe Biden and his feeble attempts to meddle with my plans! Yours truly C. Montgomery Burns is delighted to report that President Trump in a move of pure genius—a genius I might add he learned from me—has cleared the merger of U.S. Steel and Nippon Steel. It's about time someone put a stop to that nincompoop Biden's shenanigans. National security concerns? Poppycock! It's all about the benjamins baby and Trump knows it!

70,000 Jobs? Excellent!

Trump claims this 'partnership' will conjure 70,000 jobs. Seventy thousand! Smithers prepare the resumes. I need some new flunkies… I mean dedicated employees. And $14 billion for the economy? That's almost enough to cover my golfing expenses for a year! This is indeed excellent!

Pittsburgh Stays Put (For Now)

U.S. Steel's headquarters remain in Pittsburgh eh? Good. Keeps the riffraff contained in one place. Plus it's always amusing to watch them toil away enriching yours truly. And the bulk of the investment unfolds over the next 14 months? Splendid. Plenty of time to devise new ways to… motivate them. Smithers remind me to order more tranquilizer darts.

Biden Gets the Boot (Again!)

Sleepy Joe tried to block Nippon Steel citing 'supply chain risks.' As if he knows anything about supply chains! The man probably thinks a supply chain is a fancy necklace. Trump bless his orange heart swiftly corrected this egregious error. Now we can all bask in the glow of a well executed merger. To the richest I say!

A Rally? Oh Joy...

Trump plans a rally at U.S. Steel on May 30th. A rally you say? I suppose I should make an appearance. Perhaps I can finally convince him to invest in my latest scheme: a genetically engineered attack dog with laser eyes. It's foolproof I tell you! Though I shall be weary of the common folk lest they try to take me down from my podium and steal my precious lifeforce once again.

Stock Soars Profits Roar!

U.S. Steel shares surged 20%! Twenty percent Smithers! Now that’s what I call a return on investment. Time to celebrate with a glass of… uh… prune juice. Yes prune juice. It's good for the… ticker. Burns needs all the money he can get to fund his nefarious schemes!