Excellent! South Korea's Presidential Hopeful Challenges Trump Tariffs... Or Does He Simply Lack Gumption?

A Most Diabolical Deadline!

Good heavens! I've just been informed that some upstart in South Korea a Mr. Lee Jae myung is apparently wringing his hands over a trade agreement deadline with those blithering Americans and their former leader that buffoon Trump. 'Tariffs,' he cries! As if a simple fee could truly disrupt the global order. Frankly it sounds like he's got the vapors! Perhaps a vial of smelling salts for the lad Smithers?

Plunder? Poppycock!

This Lee fellow dares to suggest that if one nation benefits more than another in a trade deal it's 'plunder'! Preposterous! Isn't that the whole point of these things? As I always say 'The key to corporate success is ruthless grinding efficiency!' Though I usually apply that to the power plant and my employees... perhaps I should start dabbling in international relations eh Smithers? My policies would bring this country to its knees and our enemies would be in the dirt. Do it!

Boosting the Economy or Merely Tinkering?

He speaks of 'extra budgets' and 'task forces' to tackle the economy. Sounds awfully like throwing money at the problem. I prefer a more…direct approach. 'Are you here to solve problems or to wag your can at me?' I once asked a particularly dense employee. Sadly he chose the latter. Smithers remind me to dock his pay… posthumously!

Peace? Please! It's All About Power!

This 'pragmatic' approach to North Korea… utter claptrap! Maintaining defense capabilities is all well and good but 'dialogue and cooperation?' Utter hogwash! The only language those commies understand is the booming voice of a well funded technologically superior military. Smithers check the defense budget. Are we contributing enough to ensure global dominance? Excellent!

Polls? Bah! Mere Fancy!

Apparently this Lee fellow is leading in the polls though his lead is shrinking. As if polls mean anything! 'I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish you'd waited for death to come,' I always say. But polls are hardly a crushing defeat. They are mere… pebbles in the grand scheme of world domination. Smithers remind me to buy Gallup. Then I'll show them some REAL polls!

Insurrection? More Like Inconvenience!

He accuses his opponents of 'insurrection' regarding that Yoon fellow's martial law shenanigans. Good heavens the melodrama! All politicians are prone to a bit of…strong arming. Why back in my day we simply bribed the election officials! Simpler times. Now if you'll excuse me Smithers I have a power plant to run and a world to dominate. 'Release the hounds!' And perhaps a few lawyers. Just in case.