OMG! Is World War III the New Must-Have Accessory? Kim K Weighs In on Global Drama

Wait What's Going On? (Besides My Perfect Contour)

Okay dolls so like I'm hearing all this crazy stuff about Iran and Israel and potential World War III vibes? Seriously can someone explain this in like Skims terms? All I know is conflict is NOT a good look. Remember when Khloe and I fought over the Bentley? Total disaster. And this is like a million times worse. Apparently some major players – U.K. France Germany – are trying to play peacemaker in Geneva. It's giving desperate housewives trying to mediate a divorce. Good luck with that! They are trying to figure out a deal to avoid a deepening conflict. Like duh! Who wants that? Certainly not me my glam team is way too expensive to be displaced because of a war.

Trump's Back? Making Deals (or Not)

And then there's Trump. Apparently he's got like two weeks to decide if he's joining the party. Two weeks! That's like enough time to launch a new fragrance film a season of my show and maybe even find Pete Davidson a new girlfriend. Priorities people! He pulled out of some deal before made some stringent financial and oil linked sanctions is that a good thing? Like I'm no political scientist but I know a good deal when I see one. Like Skims shape wear? IYKYK! But he's like a peacemaker now? I'm just trying to get my head around it.

The 'No Negotiations Until...' Clause: Sounds Like My Dating Life

Iran's Foreign Minister is all 'No negotiations until Israeli aggression stops.' Which like sounds EXACTLY like me when someone tries to slide into my DMs after talking smack about my family. Respect is EVERYTHING! And they are heading to Geneva to sort it out. I wonder will they be wearing Skims? I will have to have my team reach out...

European Vacay Gone Wrong: No Room For Error

The French Foreign Minister is stressing about repeating past mistakes like Libya and Afghanistan. Which honestly sounds like my regrets about that one time I wore too much body shimmer. Never again! The U.K. France and Germany were all part of some previous deal. It's like a reunion of exes but with nuclear stakes. Scary! They are trying to make sure this never happens again or else!

Market Meltdown? My Portfolio is Shaking

All this drama is making the markets go crazy. Everyone's running for safe assets. Is Bitcoin safe? Asking for a friend… AKA my accountant. Maybe I should invest in defense companies? It's giving me major anxiety. My stocks are shaking like do I need to sell or do I not? IDK!

Putin's Worried? Okay Now I'm REALLY Stressed

Even Putin's saying World War III is a possibility. Putin OMG! Okay now I'm officially freaked out. He's saying there's a lot of conflict potential and it's growing. Honestly the thought of anything interfering with my next Met Gala look is terrifying. So can everyone please just chill out and find a solution? For the sake of my selfies if nothing else! Just be honest who wants all this like drama.