OMG! Stocks Go Wild: Did Elon Just Ruin My Portfolio?

Tesla's Political Realignment?!

Okay dolls let's talk stocks! So like I was scrolling through my Robinhood account – yes I'm a savvy businesswoman now! – and saw that Tesla took a major dip. Apparently Elon Musk wants to start a new political party called the 'America Party.' Seriously? Is this real life? Trump called it 'ridiculous,' and honestly I'm kinda living for the drama! But like not for my portfolio... This is not what I meant by 'get your f***ing ass up and work!'

Uber's 'Riding' High!

On the flip side Uber's killing it! All time high baby! Up almost 60% this year! I'm considering using my Uber stock gains to buy another Birkin. Priorities you know? 'You snooze you lose' invest take Ubers wear SKIMS.

Royal Gold: Deal or No Deal?

Royal Gold is buying Sandstorm and Horizon Copper. My question is will it look good on Instagram? Down 8% after all these mergers. That's like totally harsh. I'm no financial advisor but maybe they should have consulted me first?

MP Materials: China's Rare Earth Shenanigans

Jefferies downgraded MP Materials because of something something China... honestly it's all a blur. But the stock went down. This is giving me anxiety which is not the vibe I'm trying to have. My aura is so NOT loving this!

Stellantis in a 'Year of Transition'?

Bank of America downgraded Stellantis. EV business in Europe is 'poorly positioned'. Sounds like a Khloe situation just needs a bit of a 'glow up'. Time for new CEO to start getting his F***ing ass up and WORK.

The Rest of the Tea

Okay quick rundown: WNS Holdings is getting bought out – cha ching! Private prison companies are up (yikes!) Apogee Therapeutics had a bit of a stumble Phibro is looking healthy Fortrea... not so much SolarEdge is all over the place CrowdStrike got downgraded Shell's feeling gassy and MGM is gambling with its future. It's a rollercoaster dolls! Remember 'I'll cry at the end of the day. Not with fresh lashes' or when my stock portfolio is in shambles!