Geralt of Rivia Reports: Bitcoin Smashes $100,000! Is it the Lesser Evil?

A Hundred Thousand Orens?!

Blast and damnation! I heard a tale the other day that made my ears perk up faster than a noonwraith sensing fear. Seems this 'Bitcoin' thing which I still don't fully understand despite Triss trying to explain it with moving diagrams and confusing alchemical metaphors has soared past the $100,000 mark. Bloody impressive even if it sounds about as trustworthy as a Nilfgaardian peace treaty. Someone told me it’s a lot of money even more than I get for killing a Royal Wyvern (if I can haggle properly of course).

Trump Trade and Trouble

Apparently this surge happened after Trump (sounds like a particularly unpleasant troll to me) announced some kind of trade deal. It’s all rather convoluted. Something about the US and UK and promises that sound as empty as a nobleman’s purse after a night at the Passiflora. Stocks and other… 'risk assets' (sounds like gambling with gnomes) also jumped. Made me wonder if I should invest. Then I remembered I usually end up trading for monster teeth and rusty swords.

Bouncebackability? Sounds Like a Potion

Some bloke named Antoni Trenchev a 'crypto exchange co founder,' claims Bitcoin has “reaffirmed its status as the ultimate bouncebackability asset.” Bouncebackability? Sounds like a potion I need after a particularly nasty encounter with a leshen. He reckons the market uncertainty benefits Bitcoin. Seems like chaos is good for something even if it gives me a bloody headache. And contracts for monsters.

Safe Haven or Fool's Gold?

Trenchev also mentions the Trump administration and 'hungry buying from spot ETF investors.' Sounds like a swarm of ghouls descending on a battlefield if you ask me. He says Bitcoin's doing better than US stocks this year proving its resilience and 'safe haven status.' I'd trust a striga more than I trust anything called a 'safe haven' these days. Especially with the threat of war between India and Pakistan. Gods the world's gone mad.

Ether Solana and Dogecoin: The Wild Hunt of Crypto

Apparently other cryptocurrencies are getting in on the action too. 'Ether,' 'Solana,' and even something called 'Dogecoin' (sounds like a pathetic excuse for a guard dog) are rallying. If I wasn’t so busy hunting griffins and trying to stay out of Yen's way I might consider taking a closer look. But then again I'd rather face a barghest than navigate the intricacies of this 'crypto' madness.

The Woods Aren't Clear Yet

Now this Trenchev fellow warns that Bitcoin hasn't cleared the woods yet. It needs to climb higher than its January peak and might still be stuck in a trading range. So buying it is a gamble… like most things. Still he concludes with some wisdom: "buying peak fear can be exceptionally lucrative." Reminds me of that time I faced a basilisk with nothing but a rusty sword and a prayer. Sometimes facing the monster is worth the risk. Even if that monster is... finance.