Damn Kids and Their Damn… Spending Habits! A Witcher's Guide to Raising Frugal Gen Alpha

A Witcher's Lament: The Age of Instant Gratification

Medallion's humming… feels like another griffin's about to show. Nope worse. It's news about these Gen Alpha whelps. Born with a silver spoon and a smartphone glued to their grubby little hands. Back in my day we sharpened our swords with rocks and were GLAD to do it! Now they spend more coin on food delivery than I do on… well let's just say 'essentials' after a long contract. Apparently they blew through 92 million pounds between 2023 and 2024. Makes me want to yell 'Wind's howling... and so is my wallet after hearing that!'

Online Addiction: More Dangerous Than a Leshen's Grasp?

Three million spent on bloody food delivery! Seems these kids would rather summon a pizza than their own mothers. And don't get me started on the social media marketplaces. TikTok Shop? Facebook Marketplace? Instagram? Sounds like a Drowner's paradise of scams and overpriced trinkets. They're predicting these rugrats will control 5.46 TRILLION by 2029. Makes me wonder if I should hang up my swords and start a 'Witcher Influencer' account. Roach could endorse horse feed perhaps?

The GoHenry Gospel: A Financial Fortress Against Frivolity

Louise Hill some GoHenry founder says convenience is the new norm. No kidding! I’ve seen drowners with more patience than these kids waiting for their dinner. She talks about financial education but also the rise of tempting money apps. Credit cards for kids? Buy now pay later schemes? Next thing you know they'll be pawning off their toys to the local loan shark. It's a mess I tell you. A right bloody mess!

Tangible Tomes: Making Coin Feel Real

Hill suggests making money 'tangible.' Smart witch. Showing them the actual weight of a crown. Makes sense. Give 'em pocket money. Fifty pence a week rising to five pounds! Back in my day we got a swift kick in the arse and told to be grateful for it! Still the point stands. Teach them how many Saturdays it takes to afford that fancy new toy. Maybe then they'll appreciate the cost of a good steel sword... or a decent pint of ale.

Pizza Budgeting: Slicing Up Reality

Pizza budgeting? Now there's a concept I can get behind. Instead of discussing coin we talk slices of pizza. The whole pie is their wages their pocket money. How big a slice goes to rent? How big a slice for that fancy gaming contraption? As the pizza shrinks so does their sense of entitlement. Good way to show the brats the cost of living without boring them to tears… or worse turning them into bards.

Eavesdropping on Coin: Kids are Sponges... and Draugrs are Thirsty

Apparently kids absorb money habits from their parents like a Noonwraith absorbs moonlight. So include them in the conversations. Cost of living crisis got you down? Don't hide it. Instead of pricey takeaways make a 'fakeaway' at home. Get the kids involved. Show them how much you're saving. Maybe just maybe they'll learn to tighten their belts… and appreciate the effort it takes to earn a hard won crown. Now if you'll excuse me I have a Gwent tournament to win. Need to teach these young'uns a thing or two about risk reward and strategic coin management. Hmmm…