Hail to the King, Baby! Ukraine's Got a New Coalition!

Groovy Gathering in Kyiv!

Alright you primitive screwheads listen up! Seems like Ukraine's throwing a party and guess who's invited? A bunch of European bigwigs forming a 'coalition of the willing.' Zelenskiy himself announced it. It's about damn time someone took charge because apparently Uncle Sam's got other 'priorities'. As if blasting alien scum wasn't enough now I gotta keep tabs on international politics. I'm all about world peace baby... piece of *this* shotgun!

Where's the Backup Washington?

So the Euros are getting antsy huh? They're worried the US ain't got Ukraine's back like they used to. Well I say if you want something done right do it yourself! These guys are forming this coalition because they figure someone needs to guarantee Ukraine's safety from those Russian fellas. And who can blame them? Those guys need to be stopped. I'd love to go over there and give them a piece of my mind. And by 'mind' I mean a whole lotta lead.

Security Guarantees? Sounds like a Job for Duke!

Zelenskiy wants some 'clear security guarantees.' He's not messing around! Wants to make sure those Rooskis don't try any funny business in the future. They’re talking about maybe sending some troops over there. Look I say send the best. Send…me! I'd show those bastards a thing or two. Nobody messes with Ukraine on my watch. Especially not when there are babes involved!

Trump Card: A 30 Day Time Out

Ol' Donny T. piped up with a 30 day ceasefire idea. Zelenskiy was game but those Russkies? Not so much. They want all sorts of 'monitoring and upholding' before they play nice. Reminds me of trying to get a decent pizza delivered after midnight. Too much hassle. Maybe I need to have a little chat with Putin. You know man to man. Or man to monster whatever floats his boat.

Merz is coming to town Macron is going online

So Macron will physically attend part of the meeting in Ukraine while Merz might visit Ukraine soon. Now that sounds like a party I can get behind. Unfortunately I need to keep blasting aliens here. But I can be in two places at once can't I? Always got a few tricks up my sleeve. Plus I hear the Ukrainian ladies are quite lovely. Time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and I'm all outta gum.

Duke's Verdict: Let's Get it On!

Bottom line? Ukraine's not backing down. Europe's stepping up. And Duke Nukem? Well I'm always ready to kick ass and take names. If those Russian creeps want a piece of me tell 'em to come get it. I'll be waiting with open arms…and a fully loaded shotgun. Hail to the King baby!