Hail to the Debt, Baby! Uncle Sam's Fiscal Follies Exposed!

Damn That's One Big Tab!

Alright you primitive screwheads listen up! Duke Nukem here reporting live from the front lines of financial insanity! Seems Uncle Sam's been racking up a tab bigger than my ego – and that's saying something! According to some eggheads from Yale Wharton and even those pencil pushers at the Congressional Budget Office this Trump fella's budget is gonna add TRILLIONS to the national debt over the next decade. Trillions I tell ya! 'What are you waiting for? Christmas?' This ain't no time for holiday cheer folks; it's time to kick some fiscal ass!

Not My Pig!

This year we're talking a deficit exceeding 6% of GDP. Now I ain't no economist but even I know that's worse than a face full of alien slime! And get this: unlike past screw ups this ain't 'cause of some war or economic meltdown. So what gives? Are we just playing with fire hoping we don't get burned? I'm all about living on the edge but this is just plain reckless! 'Looks like it's time for me to go to work.'

Markets in Meltdown!

So what's the damage? Well some fancy investors are starting to sweat. This Dalio guy says we're showing 'classic signs' of a late stage debt cycle with a 50% chance of a real crisis. Crisis? Ha! I've faced worse on a Tuesday! But even the cool heads are getting nervous. Some are diversifying away from U.S. Treasuries. Smart move fellas! I always say 'Never bet against the house unless you've got a shotgun.'

The Economy's Gonna Blow!

But here's the real kicker: who's gonna pay the price? Sure those tax cuts and extra spending feel good now but what about the future? Inflation is gonna go through the roof interest rates will skyrocket and private investment? Forget about it! Plus all those interest payments eat into the budget leaving less for the stuff we actually need. And those future generations? They're gonna be screwed! 'My bad!'

International Incident Incoming!

And it's not just us! This debt is a national security threat according to some Admiral dude. Higher debt means less money for defense. Plus we're in bed with foreign creditors like China and Japan. If they lose faith in our fiscal health the whole house of cards could collapse! 'I'm gonna tear you a new one.'

Time to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum!

The clock is ticking folks! The eggheads say we've got less than 20 years to fix this mess. After that even the biggest tax hikes and spending cuts might not be enough to save us from default. We could print our way out of it but that's just asking for runaway inflation and economic chaos. So what's the solution? I dunno maybe we should just nuke the debt! Nah just kidding... mostly. But seriously we need to get our act together and fast! 'It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and I'm all outta gum.'