Hail to the Teen! Waymo Unleashes Driverless Rides for Young Guns in Phoenix

Come Get Some… Rides!

Alright ladies and gentlemen and teens! Duke Nukem here reporting live from the future... or at least Phoenix. Word on the street is Waymo's lettin' teenagers those whippersnappers aged 14 to 17 hop into their driverless cars. That's right no more begging Mom for a ride to the mall. These kids are gonna be cruisin' solo thanks to Alphabet's fancy tech. I'm all about makin' things easier and apparently so is Waymo. Maybe now they can focus on REALLY important stuff... like inventing bigger guns.

Shake It Baby! Waymo's Expansion Strategy

So Waymo's trying to boost ridership huh? Smart move. I always say 'The more the merrier... especially when you're blowin' stuff up... or you know offering rides.' They’re spreading their autonomous wings across the U.S. and this teen thing is just another piece of the puzzle. Plus Alphabet's got the pressure on 'em to make some serious cash off all this AI stuff. Competition's a bitch but hey that's what makes things interesting. And potentially explosive which I fully support.

Nobody Steals Our Chickens... Or Teens!

Now Waymo's braggin' about 'specially trained Rider Support agents' to babysit these teen riders. Sounds like a babysitter but with a cooler name. And parents get real time updates? Talk about helicopter parenting! Still safety first I guess. Plus they are adding more locations first Phoenix next the WORLD! They seem to be following Uber's lead. That reminds me is Uber even trying anymore? Or are they too busy crying in the corner?

Groovy! More Cities in the Crosshairs

Phoenix is just the beginning folks. Waymo's got its sights set on more markets outside California. They're already rollin' deep in places like San Francisco Los Angeles Atlanta and Austin. And get this: Miami and Washington D.C. are next on the hit list... I mean expansion list. By 2026 those cities will be swarming with driverless cars. This is gonna be bigger than my ego!

Damn I'm Good... At Driving... Manually

And hold on to your hats 'cause Waymo's goin' old school in New York City. They're gonna be manually driving vehicles with a trained specialist behind the wheel. Sounds kinda like... driving. But hey gotta start somewhere right? Manhattan's a tough nut to crack even for a guy like me. But if anyone can do it it's Waymo. Or me if I had the time. But you know I have to go kick some alien butt!

Hail to the King Baby! of Autonomous Transport!

So there you have it folks. Waymo's giving teens the keys to the driverless kingdom. It's all part of their grand plan to dominate the autonomous ride hailing scene. Uber better watch out 'cause Duke Nukem... and Waymo... are here to kick ass and drive cars... and we're all outta ass to kick... Ok but seriously this is a revolution in transport and it's only getting started.