Hail to the King, Baby! Trump Nukes Red Tape, Nuclear Stocks Explode!

Shake it Baby! Trump Gets Nuclear

Alright you primitive screwheads listen up! Your main man Trump just signed some executive orders that are gonna make the nuclear industry bigger and better than ever. Looks like he's finally realized what I've known all along: Nuclear power is the way to go! Those stocks are going to go up so fast it'll make your head spin. Time to reload!

Groovy! Companies Cash In

So word on the street is after Trump’s big move Oklo and NuScale jumped up like they found a fresh supply of bubblegum. Constellation Energy? They're feeling the love too! And Cameco the uranium kings? They're swimming in cash like I swim in... well you get the picture. Looks like somebody’s been working out.

Come Get Some! Small Reactors Big Potential

Trump's talking about these 'small advanced reactors.' Sounds kinda cute right? But don't let the size fool ya. These babies are gonna pack a punch! He's also hinting at building some mega sized plants too. Bigger is always better right? Especially when it comes to explosions! I'm just sayin' those alien bastards better watch out!

Damn I'm Good! Cutting the Red Tape

The Nuclear Regulatory Commission? More like the Nuclear Restriction Commission am I right? Well Trump's puttin' them on notice. They gotta make decisions in 18 months or less! No more of this bureaucratic BS. We need to get those reactors built and powered up pronto! It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and I'm all outta gum.

Let's Rock! Reactors on Federal Land

Now this is what I'm talkin' about! Trump's letting the Departments of Energy and Defense build reactors on federal land. Free real estate! Plus they're gonna start digging up more uranium here in the US. We're gonna be energy independent baby! Time to paint the town red or maybe... radioactive green?

What Are You Waiting For? Power Up!

So there you have it. Trump's making moves to get nuclear power back on top. And you know what that means? More power more jobs and more ways to blow things up! Time to come get some! Now if you'll excuse me I've got some aliens to frag.