Hail to the King, Baby! Iran-Israel Conflict Threatens Oil Prices - Time to Fill 'er Up!

This is My Kind of War... for Oil!

Alright you primitive screwheads listen up! Duke Nukem here reporting live from the front lines of... well my couch but I'm watching the news and it's getting hotter than a babe in a bikini. This whole Iran Israel squabble is turning into a real pain in the asphalt for everyone especially your gas prices. Seems like everyone's guess is as good as the next when it comes to these markets. Time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and I'm all outta gum.

Trump's Got 'Em by the... Well You Know

Trump's in the mix too calling for an 'unconditional surrender.' Sounds like someone's been playing too much Duke Nukem 3D. But hey maybe a little 'hail to the king baby' diplomacy is what this situation needs. It definitely can't hurt. All I know is if gas prices go up any higher I'm gonna have to start driving my babes around in a golf cart. And nobody wants that.

Strait Up Trouble

The Strait of Hormuz could be a real choke point. If Iran decides to block that thing we're talking major supply disruptions. I'm no oil expert but I know a plugged artery when I see one. And let me tell you nobody wants a heart attack when it comes to filling up their gas guzzler. I’d hate to see what would happen to my sweet ride the King Mobile.

Kaboom! Refineries Blowin' Up

They're blowin' up refineries! Israel hit Iran's gas field and Iran is returning the favor. These guys are playing a real life version of 'Red Faction'. If they keep this up there won't be any gas left for my babes to fill their cars with.

Roll the Dice Baby!

Some egghead analysts are saying this whole thing is a roulette with a $10 risk premium already baked into the price of oil. So basically we're all gambling every time we fill up our tanks. Fantastic. Maybe I should start betting on this crap. 'I'm gonna live forever!' ... or at least until the next price hike.

What's Next? More Mayhem!

So what's the bottom line? Keep an eye on the news and maybe stock up on gas now. Because if this thing escalates we could be looking at some seriously painful prices. And remember what Duke always says: 'Come get some!' (preferably at a lower price per gallon).