Hail to the Cab, Baby! Uber's Robotaxis are Coming to Europe!

Uber Goes Global One Robot at a Time

Alright you primitive screwheads listen up! Duke's here to drop some truth bombs. Seems Uber those guys who can't seem to find a driver when you *really* need one are teaming up with some Chinese outfit called Momenta. They're gonna unleash robotaxis on Europe by 2026. Europe huh? Time to see if these tin cans can handle a real man behind the wheel… or not behind the wheel I guess.

Momenta: The Name You'll Soon Be Mumbling Under Your Breath

Momenta huh? Sounds like something you'd order at a fancy coffee shop. But these guys ain't serving lattes they're serving up self driving tech. They've got this 'two leg' strategy. One leg for simple stuff the other for full on robot domination. I like their style. Now can they handle a trip to the strip club without crashing? That's the real test.

Robotaxi Rumble: Uber vs. The World

Looks like the robotaxi game is heating up faster than a plasma rifle! Uber's been playing footsie with Waymo and Motional in the US but this Momenta deal is their first big move overseas. Motional kinda stumbled pausing their Uber and Lyft robotaxi rollouts. Maybe they need a little Dukenukemization? Time to kick ass and drive...or let the robots do it whatever.

Safety First Even for Robots!

Don't get your panties in a twist greenhorns. Uber says these robotaxis will have safety operators onboard. Just in case these metal morons decide to take a shortcut through a building. But come on what's the fun in that? 'I'm gonna live forever!'...or at least until these things get a virus and drive us all into the ocean.

Uber's Past: A Self Driving Car Graveyard

Now Uber ain't exactly new to this self driving rodeo. They had their own division but they sold it off to Aurora. Probably realized driving is a man's job not a silicon chip's. They even threw $400 million at Aurora. Must be nice to have that kinda cash lying around. I'd use it to buy more bubblegum and shotguns.

Hail to the Future: Will Robots Steal Our Driving Glory?

So what does this all mean? Are robots gonna take over the roads? Maybe. But as long as there's babes booze and things to blow up Duke will be around. And if these robotaxis get out of line well 'Come get some!' It's time to show these robots who's boss!