Hail to the King Baby...or Not?
Alright you primitive screwheads listen up! Seems Delta Air Lines is having some turbulence and not the fun kind. CEO Ed Bastian's blaming Trump's trade policies for it calling it 'the wrong approach.' Wrong approach? Sounds like someone needs a swift kick to the groin! They're saying bookings ain't what they used to be and that's got them grounded for the second half of the year. Time to come get some!
Earnings Shmearnings
Wall Street's all in a tizzy 'cause Delta's numbers aren't adding up like they thought. Analysts were expecting one thing and Delta's like 'Nah we'll give you something else.' It's like ordering a steak and getting a salad. What is this? I’m here to kick ass and chew bubble gum and I'm all out of gum. Adjusted earnings per share? Who cares! Show me the money...or you know the lack thereof.
2025: The Year of...Disappointment?
Last month Bastian was all hyped about 2025 being their 'best financial year ever.' Now he's singing a different tune. Seems like consumers are tightening their wallets faster than I reload my shotgun. And analysts are slashing their estimates. It's enough to make a Duke Nukem wanna say 'Damn I'm good'...at avoiding financial forecasts!
Blame Game: Trump Edition
Bastian's pointing fingers at Trump's policies saying they're messing with consumer and corporate confidence. Who knew trade wars could affect airline bookings? Seems like everything's connected these days. But hey at least international and premium travel are holding up. Gotta keep those high rollers flying high even if the rest of us are stuck in coach.
Capacity? More Like Capaci NOT!
Delta was planning to expand flying capacity by a few percentage points but now it's flat. Flat! That's like a stripper with no assets. TD Cowen analysts are saying this is just the beginning and other airlines will follow suit. It's a domino effect baby! Time to buckle up 'cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride. What are you waiting for? Christmas?
First Quarter Fun Facts (Sort Of)
Alright here's some good news: Delta's net income is up! $240 million baby! That's a lot of bubble gum. Revenue's also up a bit. So it's not all doom and gloom. But still with all the economic uncertainty it's enough to make even Duke Nukem a little concerned. But don't worry I’ve got balls of steel!
Comments
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831jerry
Sounds like someone needs to kick some ass and take names!
chrisbradform
Good thing I invested in duct tape. Seems like we're gonna need it.
Theresalewis
I'm still flying Delta. Gotta get those SkyMiles!
xiaoJ7
Trump's policies are ruining everything! Sad!
teresataumau
Time to invest in a private jet. Later, losers!
delphi
Maybe they should offer free beer on flights. That would boost demand!
Theresalewis
Delta's still better than United.
Evandman
I blame the aliens!