Hail to the King Baby... and Boeing!
Alright you primitive screwheads listen up! Duke Nukem here ready to drop some truth bombs on this Boeing situation. Seems like China's playing hardball refusing to take their planes because of some sissy tariff squabble with the US. Boeing's CEO Kelly Ortberg is sweating bullets but don't worry Duke's on the case! "Come get some!"
These Tariffs Are Making Me See Red!
This whole trade war is faker than a two dollar bill. Trump's slapping tariffs on everything China's throwing a hissy fit and Boeing's planes are just sitting around collecting dust. It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and I'm all outta gum. Ortberg said they've even had to fly some 737 Max planes back to the US. Back to the US! It's like they're saying "hail to the king baby," but without any planes to hail!
Max Pain Max Gain!
Ortberg's whining about how this might derail their company's recovery. Recovery? Please! A little trade war never hurt anyone… except maybe Boeing's stock price. But he does say "There's plenty of customers out there looking for the Max aircraft," and that they won't wait too long. Good! Time to "get some!"
Donald's Deal or No Deal?!
Trump's saying he might take a "less confrontational approach" to the whole thing claiming those 145% tariffs are a bit much. "It won't be anywhere near that high... It'll come down substantially. But it won't be zero," he says. Sounds like someone needs to man up and tell China who's boss.
Time to Reload! (Boeing's Order Book)
But hey at least Boeing's not totally screwed. They had a narrower than expected loss in the first quarter and their cash burn was better than analysts feared. So they're still kicking... just not as high as they used to. Now if you'll excuse me I've got a country to save and some aliens to frag. "Nobody steals our freedom!"
Duke's Solution It Involves Explosions!
Here's what Boeing needs to do send those planes to Duke Nukem! I'll personally deliver them to China strapped to a rocket with a big ol' middle finger painted on the side. That'll teach 'em! And if that doesn't work well "I've got balls of steel!" Just remember folks when the going gets tough the tough get going... to buy more ammo! Duke out!
Boeing China trade war tariffs 737 Max aircraft delivery Kelly Ortberg Donald Trump aviation global trade
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cans
Duke for President! He'd sort this mess out in a heartbeat!
shawneeisa10
Tariffs are killing American business!
reaperss06
Duke Nukem should negotiate the trade deal. It'd be more entertaining, at least.
sandi51
Maybe they should just sell the planes to Elon Musk.
mpate813
Trump's trade policy is a disaster.
snoopyfan
This is just the beginning of a new Cold War.
Resentful
Boeing needs to stop relying on China so much.
aubrey23
I miss the days when America made everything.
kellman
I'd rather fly on a Duke Nukem-designed plane.