New Zealand Economy RUINED! Is This the End of the Line?!

New Zealand? More Like New Bald Land!

Alright alright settle down you beautiful bastards! Asmongold here and today we're diving into the economic dumpster fire that is… New Zealand? Yeah apparently things are getting spicy down under. So the CPI the Consumer Price Index or whatever it rose faster than expected. Like faster than my hairline receding? It's bad man. It's bad. Fresh food petrol and… education costs? What is this some kind of twisted joke? Are they trying to price everyone out of existence? I swear to god…

2.5%? That's Like Half a Raid Boss Health Bar!

Okay so prices are up 2.5% year on year. Now I know what you're thinking: 'Asmongold that doesn't sound too bad.' Well let me tell you something kiddo. 2.5% is like half a raid boss health bar! It might not seem like much at first but it adds up! You start with 2.5% then suddenly you're at 7.3% like in 2022. And what happens then? Huh? Tell me! We get inflation goblins running wild in the streets that's what! And nobody wants inflation goblins.

Petrol Prices? More Like Petrol…Prices?

So petrol prices were the biggest culprit. Shocker. But apparently they're dropping now. Which is good I guess? But here's the thing: they always come back like a bad World of Warcraft expansion. You think you're safe then BAM! Ten dollars a gallon and you're back to riding your bike everywhere like some kind of peasant. It's a vicious cycle I tell you. A vicious cycle!

Rents? The Only Thing Higher is My Blood Pressure!

Oh and rents? Yeah they're still insane. Apparently the annual increase is the smallest since 2021. Which is like saying 'Hey at least you're only being robbed at gunpoint not with a rocket launcher!' It's still getting robbed people! These landlords are out here playing the game of life on easy mode buying up properties and charging whatever they want. It's garbage absolute garbage!

Interest Rate Cuts? Sounds Like Another Failed DPS Rotation!

The Reserve Bank of New Zealand is cutting interest rates apparently. Because that's always the answer right? Just keep printing money and hope for the best. It's like when your DPS is doing terrible so you just give them more buffs instead of telling them to learn their rotation. It never works! Never! They're predicting another cut soon. We'll see how that works out.

Trump Tariffs? More Like Trump TANTUMS!

And of course we can't forget about the real boogeyman: Donald Trump and his trade war tantrums! This guy is like the final boss of global economics and he's got a million HP and a one shot mechanic. ANZ is saying all this uncertainty is eroding confidence. No dip Sherlock! I'm in constant state of erosion as it is! Can we just stop this ride and jump off?!