Arm Holdings Stock Tanks: Is This the End Times or Just Another Tuesday?

The Numbers Don't Lie (But They Can Be Misleading)

Alright alright alright. What is going on dudes? So Arm you know the guys who design the brains of like every smartphone on the planet their stock just took a nosedive. We're talking an 8% drop which in stock market terms is basically like getting one shot by a rogue archer in Elden Ring. They beat expectations for the last quarter – earnings per share at 55 cents vs. 52 cents expected revenue at $1.24 billion vs. $1.23 billion expected. Barely tho... 'The numbers Mason what do they mean?'

The Dreaded 'Guidance' Strikes Again

But here's the kicker: it's all about the *future* man. Wall Street is like that one friend who's always asking 'What are we doing tomorrow?' Arm's forecast for the next quarter is… well it's not great. They're saying revenue between $1 billion and $1.1 billion which is less than the $1.1 billion analysts were jerking off to. Earnings per share also look like they are gonna be in the toilet; 30 cents and 38 cents while analysts were expecting 42 cents. So yeah the guidance is softer than my hairline.

SoftBank's Treasure Trove (Controlled Chaos)

Now SoftBank these dudes are the puppet masters holding about 90% of Arm. They took the company public last year and it's currently sitting on a market cap of over $130 billion. So while 8% seems like a big deal it's like a mosquito bite on a T Rex. Still nobody likes getting bit by mosquitos. This makes me wonder what Softbank is planning are they gonna dump more shares? Are we gonna see a huge fire sale? I need to know this now!

Arm's Got Their Fingers in Everything (Chip edition)

Here's the thing: Arm designs the fundamental architecture for a ton of chips. They license those designs to companies like Qualcomm and Nvidia and then they get a cut of every sale. It's like being the toll collector on the Information Superhighway. They boast that 99% of premium smartphones use their tech. That's a lot of phones my dudes. Basically if you're doomscrolling right now chances are Arm is making money off of you. What a bunch of Jokers!

Numbers Go Up Numbers Go Down (You Can't Explain That)

The good news is royalty revenue went up 18% to $607 million. The bad news? Net income dipped 6% to $210 million. Revenue overall jumped 34% though. So what does it all mean? Honestly I have no freaking clue. It's like trying to understand why people still play League of Legends. It just IS man. You can't explain that!

AI is Coming For Us All

And let's not forget the big buzzword: AI. Apparently AI is going to be inside every piece of software. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or if it means Skynet is just around the corner. Either way I'm gonna need a bigger mountain of Dr. Pepper and a lot more Baldur's Gate 3 to get through this. Until next time dudes! And remember stay bald!