Say Hello to My Little Bill: Washington's Vote-a-Rama is a Mess!

First You Gotta Make the Money

Alright listen up you crazy senators! This ain't no 'Scarface' movie but it sure as hell feels like one. Trump's tryin' to push this megabill through and these politicians are playin' games with amendments like they're dealin' kilos. They started this 'vote a rama' thing which sounds like some kinda circus and nobody knows when it's gonna end. Eight hours? I been in deals that lasted longer than that and trust me those were messy.

The Art of the Deal… or the Steal?

Trump met with Johnson and Thune the big boys. They're sweating like they just snorted a mountain of coke. The White House lady Karoline Leavitt she's saying they need everyone on board. Sounds like a lotta pressure. But in this country you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money you get the power. Then when you get the power then you get the women.

Lines are Drawn Like Lines of… You Know

These votes are fallin' along party lines like they always do. But a few are jumpin' ship. This guy Markey wants to protect rural hospitals from getting screwed over. Collins and Murkowski they voted with the Democrats. But it wasn't enough. 49 yay votes? That's like showing up to a gunfight with a water pistol. "Me I always tell the truth. Even when I lie."

Unlimited Ammo Unlimited Bullshit

They can introduce unlimited amendments! It's a goddamn free for all. Most of 'em won't pass but that ain't the point. It's about sending a message or stickin' it to the other guy. Democrats want Republicans to look bad by votin' for the nasty stuff like makin' people work for Medicaid and ditchin' tax credits for electric cars. It's all about the game and I know somethin' about games.

The Clock is Ticking Motherfucker

They were supposed to start this vote a rama on Sunday but they pushed it to Monday. They're scramblin' to get this bill done by July 4th. Thune can't lose more than a couple votes or this whole thing goes belly up. Ron Johnson he's makin' trouble. Even if they get it through the Senate the House has gotta approve it. And some of them House Republicans are already complainin'. It's a mess I tell ya!

In This Country You Gotta Make the Money First

So what's the bottom line? This bill is like a big beautiful pile of… you know. Everyone's tryin' to get their piece of the pie and nobody's playin' nice. But remember what I always say: "Every day above ground is a good day." So let 'em fight. I'm gonna go count my money.