Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub! Trump's Visa Shenanigans Could Screw Over Silicon Valley, Says Some Guy

Khanna Sounds the Alarm (Again)

Alright alright settle down you drooling masses. So this Ro Khanna character – yeah the guy who represents that techie wonderland Silicon Valley – is squawking about how Trump's visa policies are dumber than Morty trying to understand quantum physics. Apparently these international students are and I quote 'embedded in Silicon Valley,' like some kind of brain slug. And I guess they create companies or something. Who knew?

International Students: Not Just for Ramen Anymore!

Turns out these foreign exchange nerds aren't just clogging up the libraries and hogging all the good study spots. They're also and I'm still trying to process this one of America's 'biggest exports'. I mean you'd think it'd be freedom or diabetes but whatever. Khanna says they're important for the economy like students at Stanford and other state colleges help defray the cost so American students don't have to pay as much... which sounds like trickle down economics with extra steps if you ask me. And nobody ever does.

$43.8 Billion? That's Like a Lot of Szechuan Sauce!

Hold on to your butts people! This nonpartisan whatever that means NAFSA group says international students pumped a whopping $43.8 billion into the U.S. economy. That's enough to buy a portal gun… or maybe just a really really big tub of Szechuan sauce. So basically Trump is messing with our sauce! This is getting personal!

Khanna vs. The Man (Again)

So apparently Khanna is building a rep as some kind of 'outspoken advocate' for tech stuff. Meaning he occasionally disagrees with his own party which let's be honest are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. He's also been railing against Trump's crusade against international students because you know it's dumb. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!

Harvard Gets the Hammer (Temporarily)

The Department of Homeland Security – and I use the term 'security' loosely – tried to yank Harvard's ability to enroll international students. Because nothing says 'Make America Great Again' like making sure we don't have the best and brightest from around the world learning here. Luckily some judge stepped in and paused the ban. For now. But according to experts the fear of this ban might make people choose to go to other universities which is more than 'scary' it's just BAD BUSINESS.

Calling Out the Tech Titans

Khanna is trying to get those Silicon Valley bigwigs to speak out. Name dropping guys like David Sacks and Marc Andreessen because these guys can defend his policy on the merits. Good luck with that buddy. These people are usually too busy counting their money to care about the world outside their gold plated mansions. Wake up sheeple! Or you know just go back to watching interdimensional cable. It's all the same really.