Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub! SpaceX Crane Goes Kaput, OSHA Investigates (And I'm Totally Not Surprised)

A Crane tastrophe? You Bet Your Sweet Bippy!

Alright alright settle down Mortys. Looks like someone over at SpaceX dropped the ball... or rather the crane. Yeah that's right a friggin' crane collapsed at their Starbase in Texas. And of course someone caught it on a livestream. Because in this universe everything's gotta be documented for the interdimensional meme lords. OSHA's sniffing around now probably because they actually have to do their jobs. I'm not saying I *called* it but... well I'm Rick Sanchez genius. I can practically see the future Morty! And the future is full of corporate negligence. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!

OSHA? More Like Oh Sh*t Here We Go Again

OSHA's poking around eh? Like they're gonna find anything other than a mountain of paperwork and a whole lotta 'we're totally committed to safety' speeches. Please! Remember that poor schmuck Simon LeBlanc back in '14? Dead because SpaceX couldn't be bothered to ya know *not* kill him. And don't even get me started on Musk’s DOGE – trying to defund those guys and close their offices. It's like trying to solve a problem by throwing more problems at it. Real genius move Elon. Real genius.

To Mars or to the Hospital? That is the Question!

This whole Starship Super Heavy thing is a disaster waiting to happen... again. Remember all those explosions? Sure Musk wants to play space faring savior and get us to Mars but he can't even keep a crane upright. And those explosions are probably messing with some innocent space squirrels. Or maybe even worse interdimensional shrimp. Who knows what kind of horrors we're unleashing Morty?

NASA's Funding: More Volatile Than My Burps!

Oh and NASA's involved? Surprise surprise. They've been throwing money at SpaceX like it's going out of style. Twenty billion dollars! And now their budget's on the chopping block? Looks like someone's about to learn the hard way that relying on the government is like relying on Morty to understand quantum physics: utterly pointless! Especially with the whole Trump Musk bromance gone sour after Musk wanted Trump to put his buddy Issacman in charge of NASA. Geez.

SpaceX: Too Big to Fail or Just Too Big for Their Britches?

Let's be real folks. SpaceX is too big to fail. They're swimming in government contracts and Elon's got enough money to buy himself a new planet. But all the money in the multiverse can't fix a culture of cutting corners and ignoring safety regulations. Unless of course you use a portal gun and rewrite reality. But that's MY thing alright?

In Conclusion: Get Schwifty Get Safe!

So what's the takeaway here Morty? Corporations are greedy governments are incompetent and space travel is inherently dangerous. Oh and never trust a guy who names his rockets after his own ego. Just buckle up grab a flask of my special blend of microverse distilled tequila and try not to think about the existential dread of it all. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!