Trump's Nuclear Shenanigans: Is This Reality or Just a Bad Episode of Ball Fondlers?

Wubba Lubba Dub Dub Another Day Another Nuclear Scare

Alright folks Rick here. Seems like our favorite tangerine tinted ex president Donald J. Trump is having another one of his social media meltdowns. This time he's squawking about Dmitry Medvedev the former Russian president saying something about countries lining up to hand Iran some nukes. Seriously? Is this what passes for diplomacy now? I've seen better arguments between Morty and a Meeseeks box.

The 'N Word' and Other Things Trump Shouldn't Be Allowed to Play With

Trump's all in a tizzy about the 'N word'—which in his infinite wisdom he clarifies stands for 'Nuclear.' Oh geez Rick is right: That guy is such a Jerry! Apparently he thinks Medvedev is being too casual about the whole nuclear annihilation thing. Pot meet kettle. I mean didn't this guy practically threaten North Korea with fire and fury? Talk about your interdimensional cable getting crossed.

Trump's Got the Biggest... Submarines

Hold on to your butts because Trump's about to brag. He's boasting about how his 'hardware'—specifically the nuclear submarines—are the biggest and bestest. 20 years more advanced than everyone else he claims. I swear this is like listening to a Squanchy on steroids. And then the kicker: 'I guess that's why Putin's 'THE BOSS.’’' Real smooth Donny. Real smooth. You know I once built a submarine out of garbage and a sentient toaster but who's counting?

Did They Really Blow Up Iran or Just a Bunch of Sand?

So Trump and some other dude named Pete Hegseth are patting themselves on the back claiming they 'obliterated' Iran's nuclear ambitions. Meanwhile the International Atomic Energy Agency is all like 'Nah we didn't see anything.' And Vice President JD Vance is doing the classic politician two step not really confirming anything. Classic Blips and Chitz level of misinformation!

Medvedev's Revenge: Trolling From Beyond the Grave (Well Not Really)

Medvedev not one to be outdone claims the strikes barely scratched Iran and that other countries are ready to arm them with nukes. He also mocks Trump for starting another war. Ouch! 'At this rate Trump can forget about the Nobel Peace Prize—not even with how rigged it has become.' Now that's what I call a Rick level burn.

Putin Chimes In: 'Unprovoked Aggression!' (Says the Guy Who Invaded Ukraine)

Of course Putin has to get in on the action condemning the strikes as 'absolutely unprovoked aggression.' Yeah because invading sovereign nations is totally chill right? And Medvedev not backing down clarifies that Russia isn't supplying Iran with nukes but other countries might. So business as usual in the geopolitical clusterfuck that is our reality. Time to go get riggity riggity wrecked son!