Trump's New Ride: A Qatar-Sized Reality Check (Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub!)

Giant Freakin' Plane Tiny Freakin' Ethics

Alright Morty buckle up because this is some next level crap right here. So apparently this Trump guy—you remember him right? The one who makes reality look like a poorly animated cartoon?—he's thinking about taking a shiny new Boeing 747 8 from the royal family of Qatar. As in accepting a *gigantic* gift from a *foreign country.* It's like what is this amateur hour? You can't just go around accepting planes like they're free samples at Blips and Chitz Morty. It's like whoa dude. That's corruption Morty. Burp. Pure unadulterated interdimensional corruption. I tell ya Morty people love free stuff. That's why I always load up on those Szechuan dipping sauces!

Boeing's Fault? Sure Why Not?

So the official excuse is that Boeing the company that makes these planes is taking too long. Trump says some bullsh*t about the Arab countries having better planes and Qatar offering to let the US use their plane while the real Air Force One is still being made. Nice gesture huh? But here’s the thing Morty: nothing is ever free especially not from countries with names that sound like alien planets. Burp. I mean come on Morty! Don't tell me you buy that 'nice gesture' garbage? It's always about power Morty! About who's got the biggest schmeckle! I tell ya these guys are worse than those Gromflomites.

Bernie's Got a Point (Sometimes)

Even Bernie Sanders bless his heart is saying this is corrupt and unconstitutional. And you know what Morty? He's not entirely wrong this time. A flying palace? Really? What's next golden toilets? I mean I’ve seen some crazy stuff in my travels but this is a new level of ridiculousness Morty. It's like are we running a country or a galactic casino? Gotta love the fact he calls it the over the top kleptocracy. That guy is not all there but sometimes he makes a point ya know? It is like a broken clock Morty. It is right twice a day.

But Wait There's a Memo!

Oh and get this Morty: the Justice Department made a memo saying it's all legal. A MEMO! I swear Morty bureaucracy is like a parasite that feeds on logic and reason. It's like 'Oh it's legal because we said so!' Yeah well I once declared it legal to travel through a black hole in a bathtub but that doesn't mean it's a good idea. Burp. What's next Morty aliens will be the next people to say this is legal?

Qatar Says: 'Hold Your Horses'

So Qatar is now walking back the 'gift' thing. They say it's just a 'possible transfer for temporary use.' Sure Morty and I'm just a harmless grandpa who likes to invent things and drink. They are just going back on their words when the controversy started Morty. I see this all the time in the multiverse Morty. It is just like the time when I promised to give you that interdimensional portal gun and I just changed the topic entirely! Burp.

Transparency? What Transparency?

The White House is saying everything is transparent and legal. Right Morty and I'm the most responsible grandpa in the multiverse. They claim Trump only cares about the American public's interests. But Morty we all know it is bullsh*t right? It’s a smoke screen a distraction a way to hide the fact that they're probably using this whole thing to smuggle interdimensional contraband. Classic government stuff Morty. I tell you Morty never trust people with more power than you. Especially if they're trying to give you a plane. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!