Is Trump Intentionally Crashing the Stock Market!?! Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub, That's the Question!

Aw Geez Rick Did Trump Break the Economy?

Alright Morty listen up. So apparently this dude Trump shares a TikTok video on his Truth Social saying he's tanking the stock market on purpose. On purpose Morty! Like he's playing some interdimensional chess only the pieces are made of like economic instability and existential dread. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!

The White House Says 'No Way Jose!' (Or Whatever Their Equivalent Is)

But then this Hassett guy from the White House Economic Council comes out and says 'Nah Morty he's not trying to tank the market. He's just… uh… delivering for the American workers.' Which is code for 'We have no freaking clue what he's doing but please don't panic and start hoarding toilet paper again.' You know Morty sometimes I think these guys are just making it up as they go along. Like the time I invented concentrated dark matter...pure accident Morty!

Tariffs: The Gift That Keeps on Taking (Your Money)

So Trump slaps some tariffs on stuff because apparently that's how you make America great again. And BAM! The stock market takes a nosedive faster than I can chug a portal fluid infused beer. We're talking Dow Jones down S&P 500 face planting and Nasdaq going full on bear market. Morty this is like Season 1 all over again except less emotionally scarring...maybe.

Recession? Oh Boy! Here We Go Again...

All this market mumbo jumbo has everyone screaming 'Recession!' Like suddenly everyone's an economist. Look Morty if there is a recession it is just like my marriage cyclical and messy. Nobody knows what's going to happen Morty. And that's the truth.

A Wild Chess Move? More Like a Drunken Stumble If You Ask Me

The TikTok video claims Trump's crashing the market to weaken the dollar and drop mortgage rates. Sounds like a solid plan if you're trying to destabilize the entire global economy. A wild chess move? More like a drunken stumble into a black hole of financial ruin. But hey maybe it'll all work out. Stranger things have happened Morty. Like the time I turned myself into a pickle. Pickle Rick!

So What Does It All Mean Morty?

It means Morty that reality is crumbling around us and nobody has any idea what's going on. Just like every other Tuesday in the multiverse! Buy low sell high or just you know don't even bother. Come on Morty. Let's go get some Szechuan sauce and forget all about this economic nonsense. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!