Holy Crap Lois! Trump's Thinking About Suspending...Habeas Corpus? Sounds Like a New Cereal!

What in the Name of Sweet Peter is Habeas Corpus?

Alright so Stephen Miller – you know the guy who looks like he’s perpetually auditioning for a role in a black and white movie – is talking about suspending something called 'habeas corpus'. Now I’m no lawyer but that sounds like something you’d order at a fancy coffee shop. Extra foam please! But apparently it’s about challenging your detention by the government. You know like when Quagmire got arrested for… well Quagmire stuff. Giggity!

Invasion of the Body Snatchers...or Just Immigrants?

Miller’s saying they’re looking at this because of… *drumroll*… illegal immigration! He's throwing around the word 'invasion' like it's a beach ball at a Bon Jovi concert. Remember that time I thought the Kool Aid Man was an illegal immigrant? Turned out he was just really thirsty. Oh yeah!

The Constitution: More Like a Suggestion Box?

So Miller’s saying the President might do this habeas whatchamacallit thing if the courts don’t 'do the right thing.' And by 'the right thing,' he means letting Trump deport everyone he wants. It's like that time I tried to declare my house an independent nation so I wouldn't have to pay taxes. Didn't work. Turns out Lois was right. Again.

King John and Me: Both Really Smart Guys!

Apparently this habeas corpus thing dates back to the Magna Carta! King John! That sounds like a dude I'd party with. Probably had a sweet mustache and a killer beer pong game. Anyway it's about being arrested legally. Unlike that time I got arrested for 'public indecency' at the clam bake. Worth it.

Radical Rogue Judges: Sounds Like a Metal Band!

Miller’s calling the judges 'radical rogue judges'. Sounds like a killer metal band name! Maybe they can open for my band Peter and the Not Ready for Primetime Players. We play all the hits… like… uh… well we’re working on it.

So What Happens Now?

Basically Trump is gonna Trump. And Miller’s gonna… Miller. Just gotta sit back grab a Pawtucket Patriot Ale and see how this dumpster fire unfolds. Remember kids always question authority… unless it's Lois. She's usually right damn it!