Release the Hounds... of Tax Cuts! Trump's SALT Snafu

Excellent... a Hiccup in the System!

Good heavens what is this I'm reading? President Trump bless his orange tinged soul seems to be having a spot of bother with these… *Republicans*. Honestly you give them a crumb of power and suddenly they're all 'constituents' and 'fairness'. As if anything in this world is truly fair. The nerve! It seems these so called 'SALT Caucus' members are upset about their state and local tax deductions. Honestly these deductions only benefit middle class and rich people the kind of people I invite for lavish parties at my mansion! It reminds me of the time Smithers accidentally gave a worker a raise… utter chaos I tell you!

Release the Robot Bees!

Trump in his infinite wisdom visited these blithering idiots on Capitol Hill attempting to strong arm them into submission. “Let it go,” he supposedly said. Ha! As if diplomacy were ever a viable option. I prefer a more… persuasive approach. Perhaps a swarm of robot bees programmed to sting anyone who opposes my will? Or maybe a subtle 'accident' involving a faulty elevator cable? Smithers make a note.

The $10,000 Dollar Slap... at Democrats!

Ah the 2017 tax bill a stroke of pure genius! Capping the SALT deduction at a measly $10,000 was a delightful slap in the face to those bleeding heart tax loving Democrats in the Northeast and California. They can cry me a river of organically sourced fair trade tears! Now these Republicans are whining about a $30,000 increase? Preposterous! It’s highway robbery I tell you highway robbery!

Are We There Yet?

This Lawler fellow from New York sounds like a real piece of work. “Not going to sacrifice my constituents,” he says. Poppycock! Constituents are merely pawns in the grand game of wealth accumulation. Has he not learned anything from my decades of… *public service*? These politicians do not know what they are doing; the way they are acting they'll all have to go back to working in a car! I've always said "I don't believe in fairy tales but if I did I'd believe one that ends with me getting everything I want." This quote perfectly represents what is going on with these politicians; they will get nothing!

A Paltry $40,000? Bah!

Apparently some genius proposed a $40,000 cap for those earning under $751,600. Under? Oh the humanity! That’s barely enough to cover my caviar budget for a month. Smithers remind me to fire whoever came up with that idea. They'll be demoted to my dungeon where they will be forced to eat a rock for breakfast! Although I can't guarantee that it will be a normal rock...

Excellent... Failure!

So it seems Trump’s grand plan is teetering on the brink of collapse. Excellent! A little chaos is always good for the soul… and my stock portfolio. And to top it all off Trump has to deal with conservatives who want to cut more from the Medicaid program! Serves him right! Trying to please everyone is a fool’s errand. As I always say “If you can’t trust your employees who can you trust?” Certainly not these Republicans! Smithers prepare the escape helicopter. We're going to need it sooner or later!