Release the Hounds! Trump's Tax Bill Faces Blue State Revolt

Excellent...ly Frustrated!

Good heavens what is the world coming to? Even with my vast wealth and influence I find myself observing a most… vexing political kerfuffle. It appears that President Trump – a man who I dare say understands the finer points of wealth accumulation perhaps second only to myself – is having a spot of trouble corralling those blithering House Republicans. They’re at loggerheads over this infernal tax bill specifically this business about SALT deductions. Honestly the audacity of these representatives from so called 'blue states,' demanding more money for their constituents! As if they deserve it. I say are they not grateful for the crumbs they already receive? Smithers remind me to increase the security around my fortune... again.

A Slap in the Face (to the Rich)!

Apparently these… ungrateful souls are upset about some cap on SALT deductions. This cap imposed back in 2017 limits the amount of state and local taxes one can deduct from their federal income taxes. The nerve! As if the government doesn’t already take enough of my hard earned fortune! This new bill proposes raising the deduction to a measly $30,000. It's practically insulting. These 'blue state' whiners want even more! It's a political slap in the face aimed squarely at… well me and my fellow titans of industry.

Let Them Eat Cake! (But Not My Cake)

This Lawler fellow from New York seems particularly troublesome. He had the gall to say he wouldn’t “sacrifice his constituents.” Constituents! As if they're worth sacrificing anything for! Trump bless his heart reportedly told the man that if he loses because of SALT he was going to lose anyway. He's right! These people are replaceable. Smithers make a note: find out if we can automate the role of 'constituent'. Less messy less demanding and certainly cheaper.

Unity? Bah Humbug!

These representatives are all bleating about 'unity' and 'fairness.' What utter rot! Fairness is for the weak. The strong take what they want and that's that. The fact that these states are 'donor states,' subsidizing the 'fiscally responsible red states,' as they put it is simply a testament to their… lack of business acumen. They should learn a thing or two from yours truly. Smithers remind me to send them a pamphlet on the benefits of predatory lending.

Medicaid? Don't Even Get Me Started!

And now these conservatives are mucking things up by wanting to cut Medicaid. As if health care for the poor is a priority. Trump in his infinite wisdom told them not to 'f around with Medicaid.' A sentiment I wholeheartedly endorse. We need to focus on what really matters: protecting the wealth of those who already have it. After all trickle down economics is the only system that has ever worked and by worked I mean works for me!

Release the Robotic Richard Nixon!

In conclusion this whole affair is nothing short of a complete and utter catastrophe! If these politicians cannot come to a reasonable (i.e. beneficial to me) agreement I may have to unleash my robotic Richard Nixon to bring order to the proceedings. Smithers prepare the robot! And fetch me my brandy... and a way to avoid paying these pesky taxes altogether.