Release the Hounds! Trump Threatens to Defund New York Over Mayoral Candidate. Excellent!

A Nuclear Option? Excellent!

Blast! As if I don't have enough on my plate with Smithers misplacing my dentures *again* this 'President' Trump fellow is threatening to yank funding from New York. Apparently this Mamdani chap who sounds suspiciously foreign might get elected mayor. Trump bless his heart thinks he can strong arm the city with our federal dollars. I say let them eat cake! Or better yet let them eat… *nothing*! It builds character you know. Like when I used to make Smithers polish my shoes with his tears. Good times.

Communist Plot? I Smell Profits!

This Mamdani fellow is being called a 'communist.' A communist in New York? Preposterous! Unless… wait a minute… could this be an opportunity? Perhaps I could buy up all the city's assets for a pittance when it goes bankrupt. Then I'll have them building bird blinds! I mean providing essential services. Excellent! I wonder if Smithers has a good real estate lawyer... Oh Smithers!

Blue State Blues? More Like Blue State Riches!

Trump's also shaking his fist at California because some of their athletes aren't conforming to his shall we say *archaic* views. Honestly the man needs to relax. Let the children play! As long as they're not playing with *my* money of course. If they are it will be a burn that will take one thousand years to recover from!

The Bartiromo Broadcast: A Symphony of Sycophancy!

This Maria Bartiromo she seems like a clever one not quite as clever as my Smithers but clever enough to ask the right questions to Trump. He told her 'whoever's mayor of New York is going to have to behave themselves or the federal government is coming down very tough on them financially.' The nerve! That's my line! Though I prefer 'Release the hounds!' Much more effective you see.

Mamdani's Mealy Mouthed Retort: Pathetic!

Mamdani in response whined about Trump commenting on his appearance and background. Honestly the boy needs to toughen up! He's a politician not a dandelion! People are allowed to make assumptions about you based on how you look and sound that's how Smithers has been employed for 75 years heh heh he!

Burns's Brilliant Blueprint: World Domination One City at a Time!

The real takeaway here is that politicians are malleable creatures easily swayed by the promise of wealth or the threat of financial ruin. Trump understands this and so do I. Now if you'll excuse me I have a city to bankrupt and a new generation of bird blinds to manufacture. Smithers! Prepare the corporate jet we're going to New York! And bring my smelling salts. The thought of dealing with politicians makes me faint.