Excellent! Trump's Plan to Fleece Foreigners for Lower Drug Prices! Hee Hee Hee!

Release the Hounds! On Those Foreign Profiteers!

Bah! So this Trump fellow bless his cotton socks has finally decided to do something about those blasted drug prices. It seems those freeloading foreigners have been getting a better deal than us Americans. 'Are we so out of touch?' No it's the children who are wrong! But I digress. This 'most favored nation' policy... sounds delightfully Machiavellian. Linking our prices to theirs? Excellent! A chance to squeeze them like the lemon they are!

A Spoonful of Medicine... for Me!

Of course the 'experts' are moaning. 'Oh it's too complicated!' 'Oh it might not work!' Nonsense! If I Montgomery Burns can run a nuclear power plant with the safety standards of a rusty mousetrap surely the government can handle this. And if it doesn't work? Well as I always say 'If at first you don't succeed give up!' No wait... that's not right. Try try again! Yes that's it. More effort!

A Fair Price? What's Fair About It?!

Apparently these foreign nations have the audacity to 'negotiate' drug prices. The nerve! They're not paying their 'fair share,' Trump says. Fair share? There's no such thing in the Burns dictionary. It's all about seizing the means of production baby! But I digress. If these foreigners want lower prices they should try being richer. It's that simple!

Middlemen? More Like Middle Miscreants!

Trump wants to cut out the middlemen. Good! Those parasitic leeches! I've always said the only good middleman is a dead middleman! Or at the very least one working for Burns Industries for minimum wage. This talk of 'direct to consumer purchasing programs' intrigues me. Perhaps a Burns Industries pharmacy? 'Buy your medicine from us or else!' It has a certain ring to it don't you think Smithers?

Negotiations? More Like Manipulations!

Ah negotiations. The art of convincing someone to do what I want even if it's against their best interests. Trump wants the Health and Human Services secretary – some Robert F. Kennedy Jr. character – to get drugmakers to lower prices. I give it a week before those executives are begging for mercy. Or a job at the power plant. We're always hiring... replacement workers.

Impact? More Like Imp ACT! (For My Benefit)

The administration claims prices will fall by up to 90%. Preposterous! But even a small decrease would be welcome. AARP is 'excited'? Good for them. I'm excited about the prospect of increased profits and world domination but you don't see me bragging. The pharmaceutical industry is whining about lost profits. Boo hoo! As for the Inflation Reduction Act as usual I'll find some way to worm my way out of that mess! Now Smithers fetch me my smelling salts and a tumbler of prune juice. This news has quite wound me up!