Boeing's Bad Week: From Soaring Stocks to Crashing Dreams, Excellent!

Smithers My Stocks!

Good heavens what a week! As if managing this nuclear plant wasn't enough now I have to worry about Boeing! Apparently young Mr. Ortberg was having a rather spiffing time with a 13% stock increase. 'Excellent,' I thought maybe I'll buy some more shares. But then BOOM! Like that time I tried to launch a rocket powered by worker's wages things went horribly wrong! A Dreamliner crashing? Preposterous! It must be that blasted union leader's fault somehow!

Ortberg's Folly: No Champagne for You!

This Ortberg fellow cancels his trip to the Paris Air Show. The nerve! It's a party a grand old knees up! I imagine champagne flowing like the tears of a thousand defeated employees. Instead he's 'focusing on the investigation.' Bah! He's probably just afraid of a little bad press. Reminds me of the time I tried to cover up that three eyed fish... Blinky was it? In any case he needs to get over it. A little 'disaster' is good for the company it makes the stock more volatile for shorting.

A Fiery Mess in Ahmedabad

One less flight to London who cares? One can only hope that the sole survivor in seat 11A had the good grace to sign a non disclosure agreement. Now where was I? Oh yes blaming the blacks boxes. The report says 'The cause of the crash is unknown.' Balderdash! Clearly the plane was sabotaged by those pesky environmentalists trying to stop me from drilling for oil in Springfield Forest! I'll get you yet you Evergreen Terrace hippies!

Missiles and Mayhem: Cancel My Flights!

Israel striking Iran? Drones flying every which way? Honestly the world is becoming more chaotic than my attempts to modernize the power plant! All this talk of military budgets... I need to get a piece of that action! Perhaps I can convince the Pentagon that we need a fleet of nuclear powered fighter jets. 'They'll never see us coming!' Excellent! As for those airlines cancelling flights good riddance! Less traffic in the skies means more room for my private jet the 'Spruce Moose'!

The Show Must Go On (With Higher Prices)

Despite all this unpleasantness the air show continues. Hundreds of airplane orders you say? 'Release the hounds!' I want Boeing to get every last contract! And those rising prices for planes? Music to my ears! $55.5 million for a 737 Max 8? We should be charging double! After all what choice do these airlines have? They're as dependent on us as Smithers is on my daily whims. Although come to think of it maybe I should diversify into airplane leasing... imagine the possibilities! $241,000 a month for an old 737? Cha ching!

Big Jets and Bigger Profits: Excellent!

Ah yes the return of the big jets! International travel bringing in money? This is what I like to hear! More global travelers means more potential customers for Springfield's Casino! I must say I do enjoy Richard Aboulafia's observations although I doubt he has ever spent a day earning millions! As for any impact on demand because of the crash nonsense! People will always need to fly and Boeing will always be there to sell them the means even if they occasionally plummet from the sky like a disgruntled employee getting fired! Excellent!