OMG! Trump Says 'No Deals'? Like, Is That Even Allowed?

Wait What Even Is a Trade Deal?

Okay so I saw this article about President Trump saying we don't need trade deals? Like what?! I'm all about a good deal but I usually mean 50% off a Balenciaga bag not like the entire US economy. Apparently everyone's been asking him when he's gonna sign these 'deals,' and he's all 'We don't NEED them!' This is giving me major 'I don't need your energy' vibes you know?

Is This My Contour Kit Crisis All Over Again?

So like I remember when my contour kit was sold out everywhere. It was a *crisis*! People were actually fighting in Sephora. Is this gonna be like that but for like everything? Trump wants everyone to pay a premium to shop in the US. He's calling us a 'super luxury store'. Well honey I already knew that! But what about my followers who love a good bargain? Are we all gonna have to start shopping at like space Nordstrom or something? I need answers! I think this can be a meme

Bilateral What Now?

The article keeps talking about 'bilateral agreements' and 'tariff induced trade slowdowns.' Honestly it sounds like something Kourtney would say to sound smart. But seriously it seems like Trump's team has been promising all these deals with places like India South Korea and Japan. I'm picturing a giant international shopping spree but apparently it's not happening… yet? I literally want to jump in the middle and say this could be so fetch!

Blame Game Strong

Okay so the article says Trump is blaming his own people for over promising these deals? Talk about a Kris Jenner moment! I mean we all know she's the ultimate manager but even she doesn't throw her own under the bus... or does she? Kidding! But seriously is this like when I blamed Khloe for losing my diamond earring in the ocean? Dramatic!

The Economy Is Shook

Apparently the stock market is freaking out because of all this. I don't fully understand the stock market but I know it's important... like as important as a good Instagram filter. Investors and business leaders are hoping Trump can work his magic and get these deals done before things go south. I just hope it doesn't affect my ability to buy those limited edition Yeezys. Priorities people!

Keeping Up With the Trade Wars Is Hard!

So basically nobody knows what's going on. Trump is saying one thing his team is saying another and the economy is having a meltdown. Honestly this is more confusing than trying to understand Kanye's tweets. I'm just gonna sit here sip my green juice and hope everything works out. And maybe start investing in gold just in case. You know for the 'gram. Gotta be prepared for anything in this crazy world. You never know when there might be a trade war!