Taxes and Coin: Intuit Makes a Killing, Even I'm Impressed

A Witcher's Guide to Balance Sheets (Spoiler: I Prefer Contracts)

Alright let's talk coin. Not the kind you toss at a Witcher after he's slain a griffin – though I wouldn't say no to that either. I'm talkin' about *serious* coin the kind those Intuit folks are makin'. Seems they released their quarterly results and by the Eternal Fire they’re swimming in it. Beat expectations the lot of 'em. Seems even *I* could learn a thing or two about managing a budget though monster slaying is usually more profitable.

TurboTax: Not Just For Humans Anymore

Apparently this 'Intuit' outfit is known for somethin' called 'TurboTax' and 'QuickBooks'. Sounds like some kind of magical contraption for sorting gold and silver... or maybe just numbers. Point is they rake in coin hand over fist with this stuff. Even after the tax deadline passed they're still counting their spoils. Maybe I should invest. Hmm... or just find a dragon hoard. Decisions decisions.

Prophecy Fulfilled: Intuit Foresees Even More Coin

And it gets better. Intuit is saying they expect even *more* coin this year than they thought. We're talking billions folks. Enough to make even Dijkstra blush. Apparently these 'analysts' were expecting less proving that even people who spend all day looking at numbers can be wrong. Makes you wonder what other ridiculous prophecies they're making about the end of the world.

The Witcher's Investment Strategy: Monsters and Munny

So what does this mean for a humble Witcher like myself? Well maybe it's time to diversify my portfolio. Less monster hunting more... tax software? Nah I'm just yankin' your chain. But hey maybe I'll ask Jaskier to write a ballad about Intuit's success. Get a little free publicity you know? Coin is coin after all.

Cramer Speaks! (Someone Get the Igni Sign)

They're even having some kind of meeting to discuss all this coin. And apparently a fellow named Cramer is getting a word in. Gods this is getting complicated. Perhaps a round of Gwent is in order or a few bottles of ale to make sense of it all. The world of finance truly is a strange and terrible place even more frightening than a Leshen in the woods.

Wind's Howling... and Intuit's Coining

In the meantime I'll stick to what I know: monsters contracts and the occasional game of Gwent. But I'll keep an eye on these Intuit fellows. You never know when a good deal might come along. As they say 'Evil is evil. Lesser greater middling… Makes no difference. The degree is arbitary. The definition’s blurred. If I’m to choose between one evil and another then I prefer not to choose at all.' Unless of course it involves more coin for this Witcher.