Trump to Powell: Hail to the King, Baby... or Not! The Fed Gets Nuked!

Another Day Another Disaster!

Alright listen up you primitive screwheads! Seems like that orange skinned hair challenged dude Trump is at it again. This time he's got his sights set on the Federal Reserve and more specifically its chair some dude named Jerome Powell. Trump's been tossing around insults like I toss empty shotgun shells after a good alien frag fest. Apparently he thinks Powell's got the IQ of a toaster oven. He says Powell is 'terrible' 'very average mentally' 'a very political guy' and 'a very stupid person'. Reminds me of some of the alien scum I've wasted. 'I'm gonna get you Duke!' Yeah right.

Shadow of a Doubt: A New Challenger Approaches?

Now things get interesting. Word on the street – Wall Street that is – is that Trump might try to install a 'shadow chair' to keep Powell in check until his term ends in 2026. Like some kinda puppet master pulling strings behind the scenes. He's supposedly got a shortlist of candidates. Names like Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent National Economic Council Director Kevin Hassett former Fed Governor Kevin Warsh and some guy named Christopher Waller who's apparently a Trump appointed rate cut advocate. Buncha nobodies if you ask me. Where's the explosions? The babes? The one liners?

Hail to the King Baby! But Who Gets the Crown?

Bessent's name has been tossed around as the front runner but who knows what's going on in that brain of Trump's? Maybe he'll pick the guy who can do the best hairpiece impression. There's even talk about former World Bank President David Malpass joining the fray. The rumor mill is churning faster than my chainsaw on a Pig Cop. Apparently Trump wants to speed up the process of naming a successor in an attempt to force the Fed to lower interest rates. Talk about playing dirty pool!

Houston We Have a Problem (Or Several)

Here's the kicker: there aren't any open positions right now although Adriana Kugler's term ends in January 2026. And even if Trump tries this 'shadow chair' stunt some folks are saying it might not even be legal. Could politicize the whole Fed. One strategist is saying that 'the damage to the Fed's independence would be considerable if Trump becomes a monetary back seat driver'. Sounds like a clusterfuck in the making.

The Fed Fights Back? Don't Get Pissed Get Even!

The Fed's been busy bees lately too. They've been tweaking rules for banks removing this 'reputational risk' criteria for bank exams and loosening up reserve capital rules for big banks. Sounds like they're trying to stay ahead of the game but let's be honest are they ready for what is coming for them? And even with all this political noise some Fed dude named Austan Goolsbee is claiming that politics aren't influencing their decisions. Yeah and I'm a freaking astronaut. 'That would have no effect on the FOMC itself,' Goolsbee said. 'Just look at the minutes and transcripts.' Sure buddy. Sure.

It's Time to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum!

So what's the bottom line? Trump's gunning for Powell possibly with a 'shadow chair' waiting in the wings. The Fed's trying to stay independent and the political drama is thicker than a stripper's… well you get the idea. This is Duke Nukem's world and these clowns are just living in it. Time to grab my shotgun crack open a cold one and watch the fireworks. 'Come get some!'