Giggity Giggity... JetBlue's in Trouble! Peter Griffin Investigates Their Money Problems!

Holy Crap! No More Dough?

Alright so I hear from this Joanna Geraghty lady – the big cheese at JetBlue – that things ain't exactly sunshine and lollipops. Apparently not enough folks are flying which means less money for JetBlue to buy you know fuel and peanuts and those tiny pillows that do absolutely nothing! She's telling everyone they're 'relying on borrowed cash.' Borrowed cash? Sounds like me when I try to buy a round of Pawtucket Patriot Ale at The Drunken Clam. Uh oh spaghetti o's!

No More Fancy Flights Eh?

So what's the plan? Well they're cutting back on flights that aren't making them money. Like that time I tried to sell lemonade in the desert. Genius idea right? Wrong! And they're putting the brakes on fixing up some of their older planes. I guess those ripped seats and questionable stains will have to stay for now. Reminds me of my chair in front of the TV... Lois keeps threatening to throw it out!

Hiring Freeze? More Like Freezing My Butt Off!

They're also thinking about who to hire. Maybe they'll combine some jobs. You know like how Quagmire does like every job imaginable at the airport... Giggity! And they're even talking about cutting back on travel spending. Seriously? Even I spend less when I'm 'on business' with the guys mostly because I pass out drunk on the floor.

Blame it on the Economy!

Turns out JetBlue ain't the only one feeling the pinch. Other airlines are cutting back too. People are being cheapskates and apparently flying less! The horror! I mean what's next? Are they going to make us drive everywhere? Road trip! Road trips are great! Except for the getting there part...

Merger Mayhem!

Remember that time JetBlue wanted to buy Spirit Airlines? And that other time they were hanging out with American Airlines? Well the judge said 'No way Jose!' So now they're scrambling. It's like when I try to cook dinner – always a disaster! And after 2019 they haven't posted annual profit!! What the deuce?!

Silver Linings? More Like Silver Spoons!

But hey it's not all bad! JetBlue made a deal with United Airlines so people can fly on both and get points. And they're still planning on making some fancy first class seats and airport lounges for the rich folks. So if you're loaded you're in luck! As for the rest of us? Well maybe we'll just stick to riding the bus. Or maybe I'll just fly my Hindenburg esque blimp...