Bah Humbug! Is Trump's America Driving Away Tourists and My Profits?!

Excellent! Or Is It?

Blast this Trump fellow! It seems the world is finally catching on to what I've known all along: America is shall we say less than 'excellent' at the moment. Apparently those pesky Canadians and their foreign brethren are choosing to spend their precious dollars elsewhere! It seems the once open arms of Uncle Sam are now perceived as more of a… well a clenched fist! Bah! This is bad for business Smithers very bad indeed. The U.S. travel deficit is ballooning faster than Homer Simpson's waistline after a Krusty Burger binge and my bottom line is starting to resemble Waylon's after I announce the power plants profits.

A Nation Divided and So Are My Dividends!

The reasons for this mass exodus as those 'experts' claim are manifold. An unfavorable exchange rate Trump's pronouncements about annexing Canada (as if!) and the general air of… unpleasantness are all to blame. They even mention people being detained with valid visas! What is this East Germany? I assure you if I were running the country only the deserving would be allowed in. By deserving I mean those who can pad my coffers of course! Those lily livered socialists!

Trump's America: The Golden Age? More Like the Gilded Cage!

That nincompoop in the White House claims 'everybody wants to come to President Trump's America'. Poppycock! They'll be singing a different tune when I unleash the hounds! And the notion of Canada becoming our 51st state? Preposterous! Why would I want to share Springfield with more of those maple syrup swilling simpletons? As for Europeans 'eager to enjoy the Golden Age of America,' I say let them eat lead cake! They don't know what they're missing.

Choose Canada? I Choose PROFIT!

Trudeau is encouraging Canadians to 'choose Canada'. 'Changing your summer vacation plans to stay here in Canada and explore the many national and provincial parks'. Excellent you stay over there while I take all of your money by overcharging you! Instead they are all going to Europe! I say let those socialist paradises keep their loonies and toonies. What is this world coming to!

Billions on the Line? That's MY Billions!

The U.S. Travel Association is fretting about the 'question of America's welcomeness'. Welcomeness?! What is this a tea party? They're worried about 'safety concerns' and a 'slowing U.S. economy'. Nonsense! The economy is only slowing because these tourists aren't spending their money HERE! And as for safety a few irradiated fish never hurt anyone. Oh wait perhaps they did… but the point is billions are on the line. BILLIONS! My billions potentially!

A Task Force for the FIFA World Cup? A Waste of Taxpayer Money!

And now Trump has created a 'task force' for the 2026 FIFA World Cup. A task force! To 'showcase the Nation's pride and hospitality'. As if some football game will magically fix this mess. It's just another excuse to waste taxpayer money money that could be going directly into my pocket! Perhaps I should offer my services. I'm sure I could find a way to profit from this… perhaps by selling overpriced radioactive peanuts. Smithers start drafting the proposal!