Are Trump's Policies Grounding Your Vacation Plans!?

Excellent...ly Bad News for Delta

Bah! As if my nuclear power plant wasn't enough to worry about now I have to concern myself with the goings on of Delta Air Lines! Apparently this Bastian fellow their CEO is blaming President Trump's 'shifting trade policies' for disappointing bookings. Disappointing! As if I don't know a thing or two about disappointments. Remember that time Smithers couldn't find my orthopedic shoes? Or when I couldn't remember the name of my power plant? Pathetic! Now Delta that wretched hive of scum and villainy is halting its expansion plans. Hmph! Just like that time I tried to buy up all the bus companies foiled again!

Wall Street's Woes: A Burns' Eye View

Wall Street those blithering idiots were expecting growth. Growth! They should be focusing on shrinking like my patience with their incessant demands. Apparently analysts are 'slashing their earnings estimates' for airlines. Good! Maybe they'll finally feel the crushing weight of disappointment I endure on a daily basis. Though thinking about it lower stock prices might actually be 'boo urns' for my investments... Oh the humanity!

Slowing Demand? Nonsense!

Bastian claims 'broad consumer confidence' and 'corporate confidence' are down. As if anyone's confidence matters besides my own! He says business trips are being reconsidered and the government workforce is shrinking. Well perhaps they should all be working harder like Smithers trying to polish my bald head. It's all Trump's fault. That buffoon!

International Travel: The Rich Get Richer

Of course 'international and premium travel have been relatively resilient.' Hmph! As always the wealthy are immune to the woes of the common man. They can fly around the world while the rest of us are stuck in Springfield eating donuts and trying to avoid the three eyed fish. It's not fair I say! Not fair at all!

Capacity Cuts? I'll Cut Something!

Delta planned to expand now they're going flat. Flat! Like my enthusiasm for this whole ordeal. Some TD Cowen airline analysts (whoever they are) expect more airlines to follow suit. Good. Maybe they'll all go bankrupt and I can buy them up for pennies on the dollar. Release the hounds!

Excellent Earnings (For Once)

Bah! Despite all the doom and gloom Delta actually beat Wall Street's expectations for earnings per share. 46 cents! Well I suppose even a broken clock is right twice a day. But don't think this changes anything. I'm still going to find a way to profit from their misery one way or another. Now Smithers find me my checkbook and the blueprints for a hostile takeover... and make it snappy!