Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub! Zuckerberg's AI Hits a Billion Users (And I Still Can't Find My Damn Portal Gun)

A Billion Users? Sounds Like a Lot of Mortys...

Alright listen up ding dongs. Zuck's little AI project Meta AI apparently has a *burp* billion monthly users. A BILLION! That's a lot of people using something... made by Zuckerberg. Makes you wonder what they're *really* up to huh? Probably harvesting your data to sell to Glip Glop manufacturers or something equally sinister. I'd rather hang out with Mr. Poopybutthole than trust those goons.

Personalization Voice and Entertainment? More Like 'Screwing You Over Slowly'

Zuckerberg's saying the focus is on personalization voice and entertainment. Oh geez! Translation: They want to make the AI sound like it's your 'friend' while it's quietly manipulating your shopping habits and political views. They're basically trying to turn it into a digital Tammy only less likely to try and *burp* marry you. I think.

Free App Now Pay Later Sucker!

So they released a standalone app. Big deal. It's all part of the plan see? Hook 'em with the free stuff then BAM! Paid recommendations or a *burp* subscription service. Classic corporate maneuver. You're gonna pay for 'more compute'? What is this the 1980s? I could build a portal gun with a couple of batteries and some dryer lint before I'd pay for 'compute'. Speaking of portal guns HAS ANYONE SEEN MINE?

Zuckerberg Thinks a Billion Isn't 'At Scale'? Is He Serious?

Did you hear that? A *burp* BILLION users and Zuckerberg thinks it's not 'at scale'! This guy lives in a different reality. Probably one where he's a beloved leader and not a robot trying to understand human emotion. If a billion people were chasing me I'd say that was 'at scale' Morty. At scale for me to portal the hell outta there.

Shareholders vs. Zuck: The Saga Continues...

Oh and the shareholders are griping too. Surprise surprise. Child safety greenhouse gases hate content... All the usual buzzkill stuff. They even want an annual report on antisemitism. Look I get it hate speech is dumb. But those proposal are just a bunch of schwifty ideas! The real problem is Zuckerberg's iron grip on the company with his dual class share structure. It's like he's built his own Cronenberg world of corporate control.

End of the Line Folks!

So there you have it. Meta AI's rolling along Zuckerberg's still in charge and the shareholders are still whining. Just another day in the multiverse. Now if you'll excuse me I need to find my portal gun. Pretty sure Jerry's hiding it again. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub! That's... I am in great pain please help me.