Sony Screws Over Gamers! PS5 Price Hike Incoming!?

Wubba Lubba Dub Dub! My Wallet's Screwed!

Alright listen up you bunch of plumbus polishing simpletons! Rick Sanchez here reporting live from my garage lab where I'm trying to figure out how to weaponize crippling student debt. News flash: Sony those corporate shmegegges decided to squeeze your pathetic little Earth wallets a bit tighter. They're hiking the price of the PlayStation 5 in Europe Australia and New Zealand. Why? 'Challenging economic environment,' they whine. As if I haven't heard that one before. Next thing you know they'll be blaming it on the Gazorpazorpfield comic strip crisis of '87. It's all bollocks I tell ya!

Aww Geez Rick Not Another Financial Crisis?

So yeah the PS5 Digital Edition is gonna cost you more schwanzberries—about 50 extra in Europe. The UK ain't getting off easy either. And you know what really grinds my gears? *burp* They’re blaming it on inflation and fluctuating exchange rates. Like I haven't seen that rodeo a million times over. I've literally seen universes collapse from less stable economies. These guys are amateur hour.

The Plot Thickens Like My Morty's Brain After a Logic Puzzle

Now here's where it gets interesting. They spared the PS5 with the Blu ray drive and the PS5 Pro. Probably because they already robbed you blind on those to begin with. But uh oh little birdies are saying that Sony is probably gonna screw over us poor defenseless Americans too. But hey maybe Trump can reduce some levies though I would not hold my breath because as we all know governments are as useless as tits on a kraken.

Tariffs? More Like Terribles!

Remember those "reciprocal tariffs" that old what's his face Trump slapped on everyone? Yeah those are still kicking around like a bad case of interdimensional herpes. Supposedly they’re the reason Sony's gotta bleed you dry. But let's be real corporations always find a way to nickel and dime ya. It's like my ex wife always said 'Rick you're gonna screw up everything.' And she was right... about everything except my intentions of course.

Kantan Games CEO? More Like Crap tan Games CEO!

Some "expert" from Kantan Games Serkan Toto thinks Sony will raise prices in the US eventually. And sure he might be right but so is a broken clock twice a day. I wouldn’t bet my portal gun on it but the sad truth is that if people are going to buy it Sony is going to sell it for as much money as they can. And that's the way the news goes.

Get Schwifty or Get Screwed!

Look the PS5 ain't exactly fresh out the vat either. This ain’t the first time they’ve pulled this crap. They already did it in 2022 and then they squeezed Japan last year. The moral of the story? Don't buy it. Build your own portal gun and travel to a dimension where PS5s are free. Or ya know just pirate the games. Either way don't let them screw you over. Stay schwifty you magnificent bastards!