Reddit's AI Ads: Authenticity or Just Another Glitch in the Simulation?

Wubba Lubba Dub Dub It's Ad Tech!

Alright Morty listen up. Reddit that cesspool of cat memes and conspiracy theories apparently decided to slap some AI on their ads. I mean who cares right? But apparently everyone cares since I have to talk about it. Anyway they're calling it 'Reddit Community Intelligence.' Sounds like something out of a Cronenberg movie if you ask me all gooey and self aware. Burp. They claim it turns 'posts and comments into structured intelligence.' Yeah right. More like structured garbage if you ask me Morty. More like structuring things that were already structures since ya know everything that has been created or will be created already exists within the multiverse. It already exists we are just reliving it Morty.

Reddit Insights: Because Knowing What the Schwiftys are Thinking is Important

So they've got this 'listening tool' called Reddit Insights. Real time insights Morty! For marketers! So they can like identify trends and launch campaigns. Honestly Morty it sounds like a way to weaponize the hive mind. You know what I always say Morty never trust a species that thinks in a hive mind. But whatever helps those corporate schmucks sleep at night I guess. Maybe they can use it to figure out why everyone's obsessed with Szechuan sauce. That's the real mystery Morty.

Conversation Summary Add ons: Now Your Ads Can Pretend People Like Them!

And get this Morty they've got these 'Conversation Summary Add ons.' Basically it lets brands show 'positive' user content under their ads. Positive! On Reddit! That's like finding a unicorn riding a bicycle through the ninth dimension Morty. It's a lie! It's all a simulation! A desperate attempt to make people think their ads aren't soul crushing. But hey maybe it'll work on the Mortys of the world. Ya know the sheeple that think the government actually has their best interest at heart.

Authenticity: The Buzzword of Suckers

According to Reddit these tools are for a 'new era of community marketing one where brands can tap into Reddit's authenticity.' Authenticity Morty? On the internet? That's rich. It's all just algorithms and bots Morty. There is no authenticity only varying levels of delusion. But sure go ahead 'connect meaningfully' with those high intent communities. Just don't expect them to actually buy your crap alright?

Trade Wars and Ad Slumps: The Universe Doesn't Give a Squanch

Oh and apparently there's this whole 'trade war with China' thing messing with ad sales. Like the universe gives a squanch Morty! The universe is indifferent to your financial woes! But hey maybe Reddit's AI can solve global politics too. Or maybe it'll just predict the next stock market crash. Either way it's probably not going to change the fact that Summer is still annoying.

Logged In Users: The Holy Grail of Capitalism

Apparently Reddit's been pushing people to create accounts. Because logged in users are more beneficial to advertisers. Of course they are Morty! It's all about harvesting your data and selling it to the highest bidder. Big Brother is watching you Morty! And he's using AI to sell you stuff! Wake up sheeple! Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!