Holy Crap Lois! Waymo's Coming to New York! (But Don't Worry, There's Still a Guy in the Driver's Seat... For Now)

Freakin' Sweet! Robots are Taking Over... Eventually!

Alright alright settle down everyone! Peter Griffin here reporting live from the basement of my own brain. Turns out those brainiacs over at Waymo (you know Alphabet's… uh… car thingy) wanna bring those fancy self driving cars to New York City. But here's the kicker: they gotta have a real life human BEHIND THE WHEEL at first! It's like that time I tried to train Stewie to drive. Disaster pure disaster!

Manual Mode? More Like 'Man You Gotta Do It Yourself!'

So apparently Waymo's applied for a permit to drive around Manhattan with a 'trained specialist' at the helm. Sounds like a fancy way of saying 'person who won't let the car drive into a hot dog stand.' I mean I trust technology as much as I trust Quagmire at a bachelorette party (which is to say not at all Giggity!). They say they wanna bring the fully autonomous service later. Yeah right. I'll believe it when I see it… or when Brian figures out how to hack it to drive me to the Clam.

New York New York! (So Good They Named It... Twice?)

I guess New York law is all like 'Nope no robo drivers allowed!' So Waymo's gotta lobby to change things. Sounds like a real pain in the butt Lois. It's like when I tried to convince the city council to let me build a giant slip n slide from my roof to the park. They weren't having it! Bunch of buzzkills just like that Ernie the Giant Chicken!

Waymo's World Tour (Without the Singing)

Meanwhile these Waymo fellas are all over the place! Phoenix San Francisco Los Angeles Austin… Even Atlanta Miami and Washington D.C. are getting the robot taxi treatment soon. It's like they're playing a real life version of Grand Theft Auto but with better gas mileage. Remember that time I tried to start my own taxi service? I called it 'The Peter Copter.' Let's just say it didn't end well. I got stuck in a tree Lois almost killed me and there were a lot of feathers involved.

Been There Done That... (Sort Of)

Apparently Waymo's been to New York before back in 2021 just driving around collecting data. Data shmata! Sounds like a good excuse for a paid vacation to me. I bet they even got to try some of that famous New York pizza. I could go for some pizza right now Lois! Maybe with some clams on top? Or a whole rotisserie chicken? Hey don't judge me!

Snow Job! (And Not the Fun Kind)

They even said they were trying to improve driving in icy and snowy conditions. Icy conditions huh? Sounds like a perfect excuse to reenact that scene from 'The Empire Strikes Back' with the snowspeeders. Pew pew pew! Maybe I can convince Brian to dress up as an AT AT. That'll be freakin' sweet!