Excellent! Burns's Breakthrough: The $400 Million Machine That's Shrinking the World (and My Expenses!)

A Machine Bigger Than a Double Decker Bus? Preposterous!

Good heavens what's this I'm reading? A machine that costs $400 million? It's outrageous! And they say it's 'bigger than a double decker bus'? Poppycock! My limo is far more impressive and I only paid... well let's just say Smithers handles the finances. This ASML company in the Netherlands seems to think they're important developing some 'High NA' chipmaking machine. Bah sounds like something Smithers would invent while trying to automate my afternoon tea service.

Exclusivity? Only I Get Exclusivity!

CNBC got an exclusive look you say? Why wasn't I invited? I practically invented the 'exclusive look'! Smithers remind me to buy controlling interest in CNBC and then fire everyone who didn't think to invite me. This machine is supposedly so advanced even ASML's own team hadn't filmed it before. They will learn that only I C. Montgomery Burns am entitled to exclusive access to anything!

Seven 747s? I Could Buy a Fleet of Nuclear Submarines for That Price!

It takes seven Boeing 747s to ship this contraption? Unacceptable! My private jet The Spruce Moose could do the job in one maybe two trips. And think of the carbon footprint! Disgraceful. I should sue them for environmental damages! Smithers draft a letter… no wait let’s just buy ASML and do things my way. Efficiency Smithers efficiency!

Intel? More Like 'In Tell igent' to Use My Power Plant!

Intel you say? Hmm a company that could really benefit from Burns's patented brand of ruthless efficiency. They've installed one of these machines eh? Perhaps I should pay them a visit offer my… 'consulting' services. And maybe just maybe siphon off a little of that sweet sweet chip making power for my Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Heh heh heh... excellent!

Moore's Law? More Like Burns's Law: Get Rich or Die Trying!

This Christophe Fouquet fellow claims that their advances drive down costs? Poppycock! Costs are meant to go up especially for those who dare challenge my dominance. But... if it does make chips cheaper maybe I can finally afford to replace that faulty calculator I use to balance my checkbook. Smithers remind me to invest heavily in ASML… and then find a way to rig the market so I win anyway.

Tariffs? Bah! I'll Just Bribe Someone!

Tariffs export controls trade wars… all distractions! C. Montgomery Burns doesn't concern himself with such trivial matters. If a little 'persuasion' is needed to get my hands on these chips so be it. Smithers locate the relevant officials. A generous 'donation' to their offshore accounts should do the trick. And if that fails... well I still have my hounds.