Apple Stock Crash! Did Trump's Tariffs Ruin My iPhone Obsession?!

OMG My Portfolio!

Okay dolls let's talk about something SERIOUS. Like more serious than choosing between a nude lip or a glossy one for my next selfie. Apple stock is like totally freaking out and I'm low key panicking. I mean Apple is practically part of the Kardashian brand at this point! What am I supposed to do if my iPhone starts costing more than a Birkin?! This is not what 'living your best life' looks like. Seriously this is almost as stressful as deciding what to wear to the Met Gala. Almost.

Is This Tariffs Situation Even Real?

So apparently President Trump's tariffs are being blamed for Apple's stock plummeting faster than my relevancy after a bad hair day (JK I'm forever!). They're saying Apple relies on China which is getting hit with these tariffs. Listen I'm not an economist but I do know that a good deal is essential and this tariff situation sounds like the opposite of that. I mean are we talking about real money or Monopoly money? Because if it's Monopoly money I have plenty and I'm willing to share. For a small fee of course.

Will My Next iPhone Cost a Million Dollars?

Analysts are throwing around scary numbers like potential $350 price increases on iPhones! Three hundred and fifty dollars! That's like a whole face of KKW Beauty products! I’m just trying to imagine not being able to afford a new iPhone every year to match my outfits. And what about the cases?! All my custom limited edition cases?! I mean come on guys are we really ready for an apocalypse where we can't take filtered selfies?

Price Hike? I Don't Think So Sweetie

Barclays is saying Apple might raise prices or see their earnings drop like 15%! I can feel their pain. It's like when a brand lowballs you on an Instagram ad deal. Respect the hustle! But honestly Tim Cook needs to pull a Kris Jenner and figure this out! Get on the phone negotiate! Do whatever it takes! We need those iPhones!

Operation Supply Chain Shake Up!

Apparently Apple can like move their supply chain to dodge some of these tariffs. Good for them! Finally a smart decision. Maybe they should hire me as a consultant. I mean I'm basically a business mogul at this point just ask Forbes! If I can successfully sell shapewear to the masses I can definitely navigate international trade.

My Final Thoughts Darling

Look I'm not going to pretend I understand all the details but this Apple situation has me stressed. I'm hoping they can figure it out because a world without iPhones is a world without Kim K. And nobody wants that. Now if you'll excuse me I have a very important meeting with my glam squad. Gotta look flawless no matter what the stock market says. Peace out!